I Fell in Love
by anhanninen
Summary: Set in her ways and believing that the world only takes, reclusive Bella finds her life turned completely around when she meets a handsome and compassionate man. Love doesn't happen in one moment. It happens in every moment. All Human
1. Chapter 1

There are moments in your life that you don't even realize are the moments that shape you. They're quick and usually seem inconsequential, but then, years later, you look back and realize.

It was then.

It was then that I knew what I wanted to do with my life.

It was then that I knew he wasn't the guy.

It was then that I knew things would be okay.

It was then that I knew I could never really say goodbye to those I lost.

It was then that I knew I thought about things entirely wrong.

It was then.

It was then.

It was then.

But, there's no "one moment" when you know you're in love. Because it's every moment . . . And then it hits you all at once, and you wonder, "when did this happen?"

 **Chapter 1**

"He's nice."

I roll my eyes, pulling a red dress from my overstuffed closet. "Nice? Really, Alice?"

"He's handsome."

"Handsome is a relative term, you know. I mean, what's handsome to you could be ugly to me."

She huffs, pulling on a pair of my ridiculous high heels I _never_ wear. Well, once . . . They got me laid. "Trust me. He's _not_ ugly. A lesbian would change teams for this man. A guy would go gay for him. Do these make me look like I'm trying too hard to look tall?"

"Yes, they do." I throw the dress on the bed and pull my shirt over my head. "And this guy sounds like an asshole. I mean, you can't be— Ah, fuck. I think I messed up my hair."

She moves a bobby pin, putting it back in place. "All better."

"Anyway, you can't be that good looking and not be an asshole. It's impossible." I pull the dress over my body, smoothing the clingy material out over my hips. "Zip, please."

"He's _really_ nice, Bella. I promise." She pulls up the zipper and gives my ass a firm squeeze because she can. "He's the kind of guy you'd write about and make all the teenage girls squee, cry, and pass out. Maybe even buy a vibrator for."

I roll my eyes again — as dramatically as I can. "I write _fairy tales_ in the form of young adult romance. Those guys don't exist. They don't exist because they can _only_ exist in books. Which is why books are better than real life and why I prefer to spend my time alone, reading and writing in my bed with the most publicly unacceptable sweatpants covering my ass. I mean, my favorite pair says _Juicy._ Those haven't been in style in years."

"And that's why I'm making you go out with him."

She throws me a pair of my fuck me heels to prove her point. Well, at least the chances of ending my dry spell are good.

Once I'm ready, I kick her out of my apartment and head downstairs to grab a cab. She was fully aware I could dress myself — as I had been for many years — so I could only assume her reasoning for coming over before this stupid blind date is to make sure I'd actually go.

Because, to be honest, I thought about standing the supposedly turns-straight-men-gay handsome man up. It'd been, putting it bluntly, an extremely long time since I'd dated. After my dad died, I just stopped doing . . . everything, basically. Well, except writing. But lately it was pretty tragic, awful stuff that my editor would kill me for writing.

I believed "rut" was the correct term, though other words could work, too.

Alice thought she was taking care of me by dealing me some tough love. She attempted to burn the lovely _Juicy_ sweatpants. Bitch. But, she was a bitch who loved me more than I could truly understand — because I loved her the same amount and didn't even understand it. She'd loved me _so much_ that she thought setting me up on a blind date was a good idea. I mean, the guy could be a murderer, but that was a chance she was willing to take, apparently.

And I loved her enough to take that chance, too.

Even though my bed sounded _much better._

. . . . .

It was a Tuesday night, so the restaurant was fairly empty. As the hostess led me to the table of one Edward Cullen, I found my hands sweating from nerves. Or maybe I was dying — I was reading too much WebMD. All I knew for sure was that maybe I should have sacrificed the lovely sweatpants to Alice instead of coming out.

I could probably find another pair.

"Here you are, Ma'am," the hostess said, smiling.

That was when the bronze-haired man looked up from the menu at me. Well. Alice and I had pretty similar definitions of handsome, apparently. He stood up in, what I could only describe as, a beautiful fluid motion. Jesus. Even his movements were handsome. He held his hand out to me, and though I tried to say something — anything, really — I could not.

"It's lovely to meet you, Bella."

Voice was handsome too, in case you were wondering.

I'd like to say that I said, "You too, Edward," but I did not. I think it came out as "aisjsk blahfbo." Or maybe I said, "Hi," and just thought, "aisjsk blahfbo." I don't know. Either way, he pulled a chair out for me and I sat down quietly, waiting until he returned to his seat.

He smiled and took a deep breath, exhaling slowly. "I hope having a date on a Tuesday evening wasn't a problem for you. My schedule is a little hectic."

"No, my schedule is wide open, so it's fine."

Wow. Pretty sure I wasn't supposed to admit that.

"Right. Alice said you're a writer, yes?"

I nodded. "Yeah." I was extremely proud of my extensive vocabulary. "Um . . . What is it that you do?"

"I'm a pediatric cardiothoracic surgeon. Well, I'm completing my fellowship as of right now, but I'll be an attending in a few months."

Holy fuck, he fixed kids' hearts.

"Ooohhhh."

Still proud of my vocabulary.

He chuckled. "Yes, so, like I said, hectic schedule. I'm completely off tonight, though. I promise I won't rush out and leave you with the bill or anything."

I laughed softly. "Well, thank you for that. I'll make sure to order the most expensive thing, then."

"I said fellow, not attending." He smirked.

Huh. So far not an asshole.

After ordering the not-most-expensive thing on the menu, we resumed talking. Well, mostly he did because tongues don't always work when they're supposed to. But that was okay because his voice was handsome and so was his mouth. Like, _really_ handsome — if voices and mouths could be handsome.

They could in my mind.

"So, how do you and Alice know each other?"

 _Open and close mouth while moving lips and tongue to form words_.

"We've been friends since we were in diapers. Literally. Our moms were friends. It's completely insane and utterly unheard of, but it's true. I think we even wore the same kind of diapers. Friends since same diapers."

"Diapers?" He laughed.

"I keep using that word, don't I?"

 _Dear God, it's me, Bella. Go ahead and send that lightning strike, k?_

"Moving past diapers . . . I think that's incredible. So you're from New York?"

"Oh, no. Forks, Washington, actually."

His brow creased — handsome, by the way. "Forks? A town is actually named Forks?"

"Yep," I laughed. "We even had a diner called Spoons. What about you?"

"Chicago. We have baseball, pizza, and a mafia — so I've been told."

"A dangerous mafia or like those TV mafias where they're actually good guys under that tough, gambling, murdering exterior?"

"I've been told quite dangerous. Like, real dangerous. But then again, I grew up in a suburb and was only in the city after dark like, five times."

"So not a risk taker?"

He shook his head. "Afraid not. It probably goes against first date rules, but I feel I should inform you that I'm actually quite boring."

"So you golf?"

"Not that boring," he chuckled. "Most of my time is spent working."

"Fixing kids' hearts."

"Fixing kids' hearts." He nodded. "But, when Alice told me about you, I just had to agree. I'm not normally the type to go on blind dates. She assured me you weren't a murderer, so I decided I couldn't pass up the chance to meet you."

"Yay for not being murderers!" I laughed. "You aren't, right?"

"Nope."

I smiled, lifting the glass of wine to my lips. He continued to talk, telling me how he and Alice knew each other. It was through her sometimes-boyfriend-sometimes-not, Jasper. He was a social worker at the hospital Edward worked at. When our entrees came, they were all but untouched as the conversation turned to me.

"So, you just write?"

"Well . . ." I wanted to say I had other, extremely interesting hobbies — like skydiving or rock climbing or hell, even leaving my house every day — but that would be a lie. "Actually, yeah . . . pretty much. If you think you're boring, intensify that by a thousand and you'll find how boring I am."

"I take it you're good," he said. "I mean, you make a living off of it?"

I shrugged. "Yeah, but I freelance for a few newspapers and magazines too. I wouldn't say I'm good, but . . . I've published a few times."

His handsome lips curled into a smile. "Anything I've read?"

I _literally_ snorted. If he'd read the books I'd published, he'd have to be a teenage girl in a pretty good disguise or the weirdest, most likely pedophile, man I'd ever met. "I'm certain you haven't. Besides, I have a pen name. Alice is the only person who knows my secret identity."

"Oh, secret identity, huh? Is it odd that I'm curious whether you're wearing a clingy body suit under that dress?" He eyed me up and down, paying a little extra attention to my breasts. If it were anyone else, a drink would be thrown. But, I liked that he stared at my boobs. I liked that he stared at any part of my body because, amazingly, I _liked_ him.

So far, at least.

"I guess you'll have to find out."

As his brow lifted, I realized what word vomit came from my lips this time. That was an invitation. I didn't consciously mean for it to be, but let's face it, it was.

"Well, who knows what'll happen." He smirked, lifting his glass of wine.

The conversation continued until the food that we barely touched was cold and disgusting. No one interrupted us, though. The waiter would come by, look at us, maybe refill our drinks, and then keep walking.

My word vomit, nervousness had eased and I was _actually_ having a good time. He was funny, making me laugh harder than I should have. And he was sweet, letting it slip quite a few times that I looked beautiful. He was also interesting. He brought up stories about work, apologized for bringing it up, and then continued once I told him to keep going.

My phone buzzed around ten-thirty, and I took a quick look at the text from Alice.

 **Are you hiding in the bathroom?**

"Something urgent?" Edward asked, checking his watch. "Oh."

"No, um, just Alice."

I sent her the code word — apples — for "leave me the fuck alone, I might get laid." I couldn't remember how we came up with that, but it'd been in our faithful book of codes for years. Apples was good, oranges was, "please call and get me the hell out of here."

"It is getting late, though, I suppose."

I couldn't help but frown a little. The amazing night of talking and looking at the handsome man would be over soon, and I didn't want it to be. For the first time in almost a year, I was having a good time with someone that wasn't Alice.

An amazing time.

A ridiculously spectacular, "this is going in my diary if I have one — you'll never find out," good time.

And I never, ever wanted it to end.

Once Edward paid the check, we walked out front and he hailed a cab for me. "I had an amazing evening, Bella," he said, standing in front of me — dwarfing me by a good ten inches. His height was handsome, too.

Fuck, I liked tall men.

"I did, too," I said. "It was . . . not at all what I expected. It was wonderful."

He smiled and lifted his hand, letting his fingertips graze my cheek. My mind filled with completely inappropriate thoughts about what else he _could_ do with those fingers. Which only made me sadder.

But also gave me balls.

"Come home with me."

. . . . .

It happened so fast that my head was swimming. He said yes. We got in the cab. I gave my address. And then, his lips were against mine and they only left for the time it took to throw money at the driver and get upstairs.

My apartment door closed and then I was against it, holding his face to mine as I kicked off my heels. How we managed to get through the apartment without one of us dying in some freak accident was beyond me. Clothes fell to the floor in our path until we got into my room and I fell back against the bed, watching as he stripped out of his boxers.

I chewed on my lip, taking in every inch of his _ridiculously_ sexy body. Even though I wouldn't go into a gym for a million dollars, I could appreciate those who did. And fuck me, he did. I got up on my knees as he leaned down to me, pressing his lips to mine again . . . and then against my neck, back to my lips, back to my neck and so on and so on as he got my bra off. He pushed me back gently and stretched out over my body, supporting himself on one elbow.

"You're so damn beautiful," he whispered as his lips traced my jaw.

His hand was on a _much_ better place. My leg. Working its way back up.

"Not so bad yourself," I giggled lightly as he pulled back, smirking.

I looked down as he did, just as his fingers spread me apart and slipped inside. I head fell back against the pillow as he started off slowly. My god, he had lovely fingers. Lovely magical fingers. Lovely magical fingers that my vibrator could not even almost compete with — then again, it had been a faithful vibrator, so I probably shouldn't put it down too much.

As his fingers curled inside of me, I cried out, gasping at the spectacular feeling. "You like that, baby?"

"Yes," I hissed as he did it again and again, sending my back off of the bed to get him deeper. Because I needed more. I needed so much more.

His lips moved down my chest, sucking and kissing and doing just wonderful things. The man knew what he was doing, and Jesus Christ, he did it well. His lips kept moving, though, and then when I opened my eyes, I found him above me. His fingers left my body, but not for long. I watched as he spread my legs apart farther and settled between them.

 _Holy mother of god._

His eyes flickered to mine, but I couldn't say a damn word, so I just nodded. And then, there he was. His mouth was on my clit as his lovely magical fingers went back to doing what they did best.

Fucking me. Fucking me so much better than I realized fingers could.

It wasn't long before I screamed louder than I should've and had. The. Best. Fucking. Orgasm. In my life. I never had to wonder what earth shattering meant again. Because it was him. It was Edward Cullen.

And he wasn't even done.

No. The fingers were lovely and magical and all, but the cock? The cock was better. He took me fast and hard. His hands gripped my sides as my face pressed deeper and deeper into the pillow. The bed shook. My body ached. I probably cried — I did. Probably is a lie, but they were the best tears. And then he flipped me over and took me again.

"Jesus Christ, beautiful girl," he grunted as I held onto him.

I panted, trying to catch my breath as his motion shook the bed. "Don't stop. Please. Don't fucking stop."

We were on our sides, wrapped up in one another. I'd never felt better. I didn't even realize it was possible to feel this good. He kissed my lips as he slowed his thrusts and each one felt better than the last.

"You're fucking perfect," he whispered.

Far from it, but there was no way in hell I'd correct him now. I snaked my hand between us, knowing that this would end soon and I wanted one more before it did. Before the best night of my life ended.

My fingers touched the glorious cock — it needed a name, okay? — as he pushed into me and pulled out. After the hard and fast and wonderful, the slow and soft and beautiful felt just as amazing. Maybe even better. His hand joined mine and he laid his fingers against my clit, rubbing it so perfectly as I moved mine over his cock. Our lips were back together as it happened. I came, crying his name as he kissed me.

And then, within moments, he came and for a brief second through the pure bliss I felt, I began to wonder if this was all that would ever happen. And that, for some unknown, probably ridiculous reason, made tears form in my eyes that were not the best kind.

* * *

Obviously I don't own Twilight. However, I do own a unicorn onesie. It's pretty friggin' sweet.


	2. Chapter 2

"Do I . . . do I wake him up?" I whispered into the phone, looking at one, Edward Cullen, naked and asleep in my bed.

He stayed, and though that was exactly what I wanted last night, it left me a little . . . screwed this morning. And not the good kind of screwed that I was last night.

"Take a picture," Alice said.

"How does that help me?"

"Well, it helps me."

I rolled my eyes and walked quietly out of my room, pulling the door closed behind me. I had _zero_ knowledge of what the etiquette was for these kinds of things. The one night stands I'd had in the past all happened at the guys' house and I always left right after. You know, like a good one night stand does.

Which of course, even though it was brief, made me wonder if this even _was_ a one night stand. I pushed that thought down because I was obviously not relationship material and thinking about it would just make me hope, which would lead to a let down. A let down of epic proportions. I wasn't sure if there was enough _Ben and Jerry's_ in the world for that let down.

"I'm sure he'll wake up soon," Alice said as I poured too much Coco Pebbles in to too big of a bowl. "And if he doesn't, lay your phone by his head and I'll call it. If _Call Me Maybe_ doesn't wake him up, he could be dead."

"That's not my ringtone."

"Liar."

Okay . . . it actually was. I had problems, clearly.

"I just . . . I didn't think he'd _actually_ stay."

"But you wanted him to?"

It wasn't actually a question. She knew. Of course she knew. Alice knew me better than I knew myself, which was often annoying, but sometimes helpful. Like now. "So, what should I do?"

"Well, you could crawl back into bed, accidentally wake him up, and have a repeat of the best night of your life."

"Or?"

"Just wait, I guess. He'll wake up eventually and then you two could either talk or he'll do the walk of shame and that's it. Up to you, though I'm sure you're just going to wait."

Like I said, she knew me.

. . . . .

After hanging up with Alice and downing about half of the bowl of cereal I'd poured, Edward finally came out of my bedroom — his handsome ass only covered in boxers. He had bed head, but not the rat's nest bed head that I was sporting. No, his unruly hair made him look sexier.

It was completely unfair.

But also so fucking fantastic.

"Good morning, Bella." His damn handsome lips curled into a smile. The same smile he had last night, which made me wish I'd gone with Alice's first suggestion. "May I?"

He pointed to the coffee and waited for me to nod before pouring himself a mug. He came to sit beside me at my little kitchen island. He was close — so close that my tongue decided not to work again. The sunlight came through the small window at the perfect angle, accentuating the red in his hair and scruff that had formed on his jaw and neck.

Scruff was hot . . . and handsome. Because everything on him was handsome.

"Do you have to work?"

I finally found my tongue, and _that_ was what I said. Not, "take me back to bed and fuck me," or "I wonder what sex is like on a counter." My tongue was lame, obviously.

"No, not until tomorrow, though I am on call tonight," he said, placing the mug on the counter and licking his handsome lips. "Should I . . . go?"

"No!" I could feel the heat on my cheeks. That was loud and entirely too quick. Oh, and the opposite of what I probably should've said. "I mean, no, you don't have to. I've got nothing planned."

Again, his handsome lips curled into a smile. I was reminded of what said lips did to me last night, and I was _sure_ my cheeks were even more flushed. Which only made me more embarrassed.

"Okay, then breakfast? Or did you fill up?"

"I could eat."

I could not, but damn it, I wanted more time with him. I didn't want this to end, which was not at all what I should've been thinking, but I did. Because it was the truth. After this past year, I didn't want to let go of this feeling of being _happy_. Not that I was one of those extremely depressed people that needed meds and therapy, but . . . actually, I might have been. But that was a thought for another day after the happiness with the handsome man ended.

"I know a great diner a few blocks from here," he said as I stood up with my embarrassingly large bowl of half eaten cereal. "Best French toast in the world."

I nodded, smiling. "Then I guess I should get dressed."

"I kind of need pants, too," he chuckled. "At least, I'm assuming the diner has a strict 'no pants no service' policy."

That was too bad.

. . . . .

Once I'd gotten dressed and he, sadly, put his pants and shirt back on, Edward and I walked the few blocks to the diner. It was a nice autumn day in Manhattan, and though I actually kind of hated the city, I enjoyed this weather. It reminded me of Washington. Looking back, I wished I hadn't moved here to go to school because I just wound up staying. I _thought_ I'd love it and at first I did, but . . . being from a small town, the massive hoards of people actually annoyed the hell out of me.

"I, uh . . . didn't get to tell you how much I enjoyed last night," Edward said as we sat across from each other in a small booth.

"Actually, you did. It was before I pretty much threw you into a cab."

He cocked his head, creasing his brow. "I remember it differently. I said yes, and then I threw you into the cab. I'm sure that driver didn't appreciate me groping you in his backseat."

"But _I_ appreciated it." I smiled, lifting the menu to cover my face.

He chuckled and reached across, lowering it. "Please don't obstruct my gorgeous view of your face. I quite enjoy looking at it."

 _Mother fucking swoon._

Wait . . . was that still a thing? Eh, either way, the word worked perfectly to describe my feelings.

"So, I'm calling this our second date, which means I can go ahead and ask if I can see you again," he said. "I'm assuming yes because, well, you said yes to a second date, but I figure it's more gentlemanly to ask."

"But we're not even done with our second date. I believe the proper etiquette is to wait until the end _and then_ ask for a third."

He nodded. "Okay, then I'll wait. Let's get back to our second date. This is when I find out a little more about you. For example, do you have siblings?"

I shook my head. "Nope, only child. You?"

"An older brother. He's married with two kids and lives in Virginia. He's FBI."

"Your parents made a doctor and an FBI agent?" I laughed. "They must have excellent genes."

He shrugged. "I think so. My father's also a doctor and my mother is a former police officer turned psychologist. She was one of those crazy women that decided, 'eh, let's see what getting shot at is like'. And then once she found that out — meeting my father in the process — she decided to hang up the gun, go back to school, and let others handle bringing in the bad guys while she counseled their victims."

My brow rose in awe of the woman I barely knew anything about. She sounded incredible, but she also made me think of my dad. "My, uh . . . my dad was a cop, too."

"Was? So he got out of it, too?"

I shook my head. "No. No, he didn't unfortunately."

His hand reached across the table and clasped mine. Tears formed in my eyes and I tried to force them away. God damn it, I was _not_ going to do this here. "I'm so sorry, Bella. I didn't mean—"

"You didn't," I said, cutting him off. "He died last year. Robbery gone _really_ bad. He was really important to me."

"And your mom?"

"Passed away when I was seven. Breast cancer."

"God, I should stop asking questions."

"No, no, you're fine. I'm fine. Um . . . so do you have nieces or nephews? Or both?"

"Two nephews. Brady and Colin. They're actually twins and just recently turned eight. If I'm lucky, I get to see them a few times a year. I had them up here over the summer for a Yankees game."

He pulled out his phone and showed me a picture of the not at all identical twins. They were . . . cute, I guess. I mean, they were little kids. As he told me about them, his handsome face lit up and it was clear that they were incredibly important to him.

I liked seeing that.

I liked knowing that he cared more about others than himself and that the twins were a big reason he went into pediatrics. I liked knowing that he'd devoted his life to helping others and that was what brought him happiness.

"So, what type of books do you write?" he asked, cutting into his stack of French toast.

"Um . . . you'll think I'm weird."

He rolled his eyes, shaking his head. "That's not possible."

I sighed and pretty much decided why the hell not? I wasn't at all embarrassed about the genre I wrote for. I liked my privacy, which was why I used a pen name and didn't do much press. Of course I did the mandatory short book tour and a few signings when I released a new book, but that was about it. Even though I didn't put myself out there as much as some other authors did, I loved my books. I loved my audience too. "I write young adult romance. Basically the things teenage girls read. Well, not only teenagers, but I'm sure you understand."

His brow cocked as his handsome lip curled into a smirk. "What are they called?"

"Uh . . . _Willow Falls_ is my most popular, but I have a few others, too."

"You were wrong last night."

"About what?"

"I've heard of your books."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, right."

"Do you understand what age my patients are? Quite a few are teenage girls, and I have one in particular who's been my patient for years that _loves_ to read. I've spent lunch breaks, letting her go on and on about an amazing book she read. And you know what?"

"What?"

"It makes her smile. And trust me, a smile is not an easy thing to coax from a moody teenage girl who spends more time in the hospital than at home. So, since I now know you've written one of those books that's made her smile, I'm amazed by you."

 _Amazed._

The word most certainly did not fall on deaf ears. It ran through my head over and over again as we continued our breakfast. The handsome man was amazed by me, which made absolutely no sense but left me feeling better than words could express.

And it also inspired me.

. . . . .

Two weeks passed after the best night and morning of my life, and to my utter shock and extreme joy, Edward and I kept in touch. I met him for lunch a few days later, and we had an amazing time once again. He made me laugh and smile, and even brought me flowers.

Seriously. Flowers. They were bright and beautiful and smelled amazing.

I'd been writing almost nonstop since I'd met him, and it wasn't the tragic, awful stuff, either. It was hopeful and happy and brought back the feeling I'd missed over the past year. I still wore the lovely _Juicy_ sweatpants, but I did move out of my bed and onto the couch.

Alice was shocked at that.

Hell, she was shocked that I had managed to write without killing someone.

I was too, by the way.

It all seemed so . . . strange. Conversation and sex — which had happened a few more times — with the handsome Edward Cullen had flipped a switch inside of me that I hadn't actually realized was turned off. Apparently the switch was in my vagina. Who knew? Even though it seemed so strange, it was also wonderful. I felt alive again. Like the veil had lifted and things were no longer covered in a haze.

Happiness was a feeling I'd missed.

But underneath all of this happiness, a part of me worried. I liked Edward more than I should've. I was beginning to let my guard down around him, which as the past had shown me, wasn't always a good thing. In fact, it was a terrible thing. I'd had my heart broken a few times by guys who were clearly not right for me, and even though the logical part of my brain knew that I could very likely get hurt again, I didn't listen to it.

I mean, let's face it, the sex was fucking fantastic. I wasn't ready to give that up.

So, I decided to go with it and see what happened.

. . . . .

"I'm kind of mad that you get this awesome sex and conversation with a great guy while I'm single," Alice said as I handed her the bowl of popcorn.

It was our _27 Dresses_ time again because Alice and Jasper had, just down right shockingly, broken up . . . again. It was only the third time this year. There had never been a movie Alice and I both loved as much as this one, so it was our go-to pick when she was having issues. I had no idea why I loved this movie so much, but I did. Pretty basic story line, after all. I believed it was probably just James Marsden's fine ass.

"You're not single," I said, rolling my eyes as I plopped down beside her. "You decided you hated Jasper, which happens every few months. You'll be back, spending all of your time with him and having great sex before you know it."

"He just, ugh!" she huffed. "He's _so_ stubborn."

"So are you. A hell of a lot worse, actually."

"I thought the whole, bestie thing meant you always had to be on my side?"

I hit play on the remote and shrugged. "I figure honesty is better than lying to you. I mean, eventually, he might get tired of the on-again-off-again thing, and though I'd gladly punch him in the balls for you if you'd like, I can't blame him."

She sighed ever so dramatically and laid her head on my shoulder. "You might be right. Let's see how I feel after the movie and maybe I'll call him."

I had to force my laughter back down. Of course she'd call him. She'd call him, they'd have sex, and tomorrow things would be perfectly fine again. I hoped one day the game between them would end and they'd actually commit to each other, but the hell if I knew. I might have had issues, but Alice did, too.

Maybe that was why we were best friends.

If I was having a meltdown, she'd step up and force me to deal with it, and the same went for her when she was having one. Our crazy complimented each other.

"So . . . how big is it?"

I cocked my head, scoffing. "No."

"It's a penis, not a secret. You can tell me about it."

"It's . . . the perfect size. It's not like it's a monster cock, but it's not small either. I quite enjoy it."

She laughed, throwing her head back. "So, I did well with the setting you up thing?"

My lips curled into a smile, even though I didn't necessarily want to give her this satisfaction. I didn't much enjoy being wrong. But I was this time. Going out with Edward was one of the best things I'd ever done. "Yeah, you did. How'd you manage it anyway?"

"He and Jasper are in some fantasy football thing together and were having drinks with a bunch of other guys a few weeks ago. I met Jazz there and zeroed in on the handsome man. Asked if he was single — assured him it wasn't for me — and then told him about you. He agreed pretty easily, so I'm guessing saving lives leaves little time to meet women. He was probably just horny."

I laughed, though I was unsure if she was right. Edward had seemed a little surprised when I asked him to my apartment, but . . . it could have been faked, I suppose. Either way, I couldn't put him down for that.

I was _exceptionally_ horny, after all.

. . . . .

Once our sappy, happily-ever-after movie ended, Alice did, in fact, call Jasper. She said the usually, "I'm sorry," and, "I love you," and threw in a, "I was an idiot," before she flew out of my apartment in a hurry to go — I'm assuming — have fabulous make-up sex.

It wasn't until fifteen minutes after she left that I got my usual text.

 **You know exactly how to help me get over my idiocy. Love you. And apples, by the way.**

It was only quarter 'til eleven when she left, so I decided to stuff my face with cold, delicious, leftover pizza and boot up my laptop and continue writing whatever the hell it was that I was writing.

Only I didn't get to because my phone rang with the handsome Edward Cullen's name on my screen.

I probably should've been ashamed at how fast I answered, but I was not. Not even a little. I was ashamed at _how_ I answered, though. "Hi."

Lame.

"Hey, Bella," he said. "It's not too late, is it?"

"No, not at all. I thought you were working?"

I wasn't quite sure what it meant that I knew when he was and was not working, but I did. I memorized it when he'd told me.

"Yeah, I am. I'm covering consults for the ER and keeping an eye on my patients, but I had a lull, so I figured I'd call. I may have just missed your voice."

Cue the ridiculously stupid smile. It was in full force. "Wow."

"Too corny?"

"No."

"Good," he chuckled. "Because I did and I've decided that I need to see you again tomorrow."

"I think that can be arranged."

"Excellent. Is a movie okay? Say around . . . five-ish? We'll grab dinner first. I do need some sleep, otherwise, I'd request your presence earlier."

He was so insanely . . . adorable. Yeah, adorable worked. He was handsome, sexy, and adorable. A combination I didn't realize existed. He was also funny, which with all of the other qualities he possessed, seemed impossible.

Not for Edward Cullen, though.

"Five-ish works for me," I said.

"Great. I should get back to work, but I can't wait to see you again. Goodbye, beautiful girl."

Remember how I said I wrote the kinds of books that made teenage girls squee? Well, he did that to me once we'd hung up. I squeed. Loudly. And even kicked my feet a little. I had no clue who I'd become and what happened to the semi-depressed woman from a few weeks ago, but I tried not to think about it.

Living in the moment and all.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

"We can hop on a plane first thing in the morning, Bella."

I shook my head as I held the phone to a year. "No. I made this decision weeks ago, and I'm not changing my mind now."

"But they're naming a street after him."

I scoffed at the pure ridiculousness of the situation. Tomorrow was another day, just like the last three-hundred and sixty-four . . . only it really wasn't. It was a year. A full year since my dad had been killed. A full year since Forks, Washington's beloved chief of police lost his life in a gas station robbery gone wrong. A robbery that he shouldn't have even responded to, let alone _witnessed_ off duty.

Apparently, his heroics deserved a street to be named after him. He'd have hated it, just like I did. I could've almost heard his gruff scoff when I'd been told of the ceremony. He'd have called it stupid, confusing, and a waste of tax payers' dollars. Because, really, it was.

"Alice, I'm not going. I laid him to rest by pouring his ashes in the Hoh River, like he wanted. There's no reason for me to go back."

"I'm sorry, baby."

I angrily wiped at the stray tears I'd let slip onto my cheeks and lied to her. "I'm fine."

"Want me to come over?"

"No, I'll see you tomorrow."

She sighed. "Okay, but if you change your mind, just give me a call."

"I won't, but thank you. I love you."

"Love you too, Bella."

After hanging up the phone and tossing it beside me on my bed, I did something I wished I hadn't and just cried. I didn't want it to affect me. I didn't think the year mark would hit so hard. I'd grieved — mostly — and I'd laid him to rest, just where he wanted. The fact it had been a year shouldn't have done this to me, but it did.

I cried because I felt utterly alone in this world. My parents were dead and Alice was the closest thing I had left to family, but really, she _wasn't._ Of course I loved her like a sister, but it wasn't the same. She had parents, a little sister, and even her grandmother left. But I had nothing.

And I fucking hated how pitiful I felt — all woe is me. I wasn't that person. At least I didn't want to be. I felt sorry for myself, which was utterly insane.

 _Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy . . ._

I snatched my phone off of the bed, hitting accept so I could end the horrible, guilty pleasure song that I loved. Well, not so much anymore. I needed to change it. "Hello."

"Will you unlock the door for me? I have Chinese take-out, which, as I'm sure you're aware, is fantastic at ten o'clock at night."

My eyes widened and my heart sped up at the handsome voice on the other end of the line. I instantly stopped my sniffling, for fear that he'd hear it. "What?"

"I'm outside of your building. Open up, beautiful girl."

I moved off of my bed, wiping at my cheeks to try to clear them of the tears. "I thought you were stuck at work all night."

"I'm slick and got someone to cover for me. It's cold out here, in case you didn't know."

I hurried out of my room and toward my door, hitting the button to unlock the building door. The thought "worst timing possible" came to mind as we hung up and I waited the few minutes for him to take the elevator up. I ran back into my bathroom, splashing water on my face to try and hide the fact that I'd been crying.

Edward was _not_ supposed to see this. He was supposed to be at work all night — after working since seven in the morning the day before — which would mean he'd be exhausted and I wouldn't have to see him at all until after the anniversary of my dad's death had passed.

Of course things didn't work out as perfectly as they should have. I honestly should've expected it because _I_ wanted it to work out like that. The world is a bitch, clearly. A bitch that wanted the kind-of relationship we'd started to end much sooner than I wanted.

We'd been seeing each other for a month and a half. It was a little early for him to have to deal with this — to see how alone I felt. He'd realize now that it was something he didn't want to deal with, so he'd end it.

Once he knocked, I opened the door and the look _instantly_ registered on his face. His handsome smile fell and his brow creased as he eyed me. "What's wrong?"

I shook my head, trying to keep it together. "I just . . . wasn't excepting you."

"So, you cried?" He walked past me into my apartment, setting the bag of delicious smelling food down as I shut the door and turned toward him. "Bella, what's going on? Did something happen?"

And though I tried to force it away, I couldn't and the crying started all over again. His arms were around me within moments, holding me to his chest. "I'm sorry," I cried, trying to control myself. I failed. Miserably.

His hand rubbed my back as I dug my face deeper into his oddly soft, yet scratchy scrub top. My hands locked around his back, holding onto him for — what it seemed like from the sounds that were escaping my lips — dear life. "Just let it out," he murmured. "I've got you."

"It's been a year," I sniffled after a few moments. "I'm sorry."

He pulled back, cupping my face in his hands. His green eyes met mine, and I swear to god, I _saw_ compassion. If it were possible to see. I was fully aware it wasn't, but still.

"Don't apologize. What's been a year?"

"Since my dad died."

"Bella," he sighed, pulling me back into his arms. "I didn't know. I'm so sorry."

"You should go."

"No."

I looked up at him, cocking my head to the side. "You shouldn't have to deal with this."

He shrugged. "That's debatable. I care about you, so I think it's _exactly_ what I should deal with. I should be here for you. Now, let's eat some Chinese food, lay wherever you want, and then we can do whatever you want."

"You do realize you shouldn't say things like that to me, right?"

He cracked a smile. "And why's that?"

"Because I'm very fond of you and that just makes me more fond of you."

He chuckled softly, picking up the bag of food with one hand as his other held mine. "Then I think I might just keep saying things like that."

. . . . .

We wound up in my bed, eating delicious Chinese food as he let me talk about my dad. I recounted many fishing trips — which I hated at the time, but now missed dearly. And how he'd always been the first person to read whatever I wrote — even though I was sure _he_ hated it. And the other little things I missed.

"He hated New York," I said, sniffling. "Like, so incredibly much. But he always came for most holidays, though I had to come home for Easter. I'm still not sure why Easter and not something else, but that's what we'd decided on. He wouldn't leave my apartment without me. He never said so, but I was sure it was because he was afraid to get lost. He knew Forks like the back of his hand. You could blind fold him and he'd still be able to take you anywhere, so he didn't like being out of his element."

"What else?" Edward asked, smiling as he held my hand.

It seemed like such a trivial thing — the hand holding — but at that moment, I felt like it was the only thing that kept me from bursting into hysterics again. It was a simple touch, but it was also so much more.

"He called me Bells." I smiled at the memory, wishing I could hear his voice say it one last time. "No one else _ever_ called me that, and I'd probably hit someone if they tried now. I never realized how much I liked it. It's those things, you know? That you miss the most. The nicknames, the Sunday evening phone calls, the _horribly_ crafted texts that were filled with the most hilarious autocorrects. I bought him an iPhone about a year before he died and he _hated_ it," I laughed as tears kept falling. "I just miss him."

He nodded, lifting his free hand to wipe my cheeks. "He sounded like a great guy."

"The best."

"I wish I'd gotten to meet him."

"Oh, he'd have hated you more than the iPhone."

He chuckled. "Not a fan of men you were fond of, huh?"

"Nope." I shook my head. "But . . . it was just who he was. I was his little girl. His whole world. After my mom died, we were all each other had. Do you see that stuffed rabbit?" I pointed at one of the bookcases in my room.

He nodded, letting go of my hand and moving off of my bed. He picked it up gently off of the shelf and smiled. "Please tell me you named it."

I smiled through the tears and nodded as I remembered. "He got me that a few weeks after her funeral. I was sad, of course, and he was clueless. So, he brought home Fluffers. He told me that though Mom was gone, things would be okay and we'd always be a family — death wouldn't change that. The bunny literally had nothing to do with what he told me, but he just thought I'd like it."

He handed me the pink rabbit and I hugged it to my chest, feeling like that seven year old girl again.

"It's not fair."

"What's not fair?" I asked, looking up to find him with a sorrowful expression.

"That he's gone. That your mom's gone. You deserve happiness."

I _wanted_ to tell him that he'd made me happier than I'd been in a long time, but the words didn't come out. They were stuck in my throat because of fear. If I actually admitted to him that I was happy, maybe the happiness would end.

Maybe the world would take another thing from me, and I wasn't ready for that.

. . . . .

Edward and I wound up falling asleep together in my bed. There was no spectacular sex, but that was okay. He just held me, and it was more perfect than words could explain. I cried some more, even though I tried to stop, and he just kissed my forehead and told me to let it out.

The handsome man proved to me much more than just a handsome man who fucked me better than anyone else.

He _cared_ for me.

He finally left the next morning around eleven, and then Alice came over shortly after and spent the day with me, watching stupid movies and making fun of the people on different reality shows. My mind was taken off of my dad for a bit, but of course it returned — as did the tears.

But between Edward and Alice, the day wasn't as bad as it could have been.

I mean, it still sucked, but I figured it always would.

Over the next two weeks, I had a few more dates with Edward. Each was amazing in its own way because I got to be with him. And yeah, I can't believe I thought that either. But it was the truth. Whether we actually went out and did something or stayed in, it was great. _He_ was great. More like unbe-fucking-lievable, actually.

So, when he called and asked if I wanted to have lunch with him at the hospital, I figured why not? I didn't expect to see him much over the next few days because his schedule was insane — filled with being on-call almost constantly and working doubles to cover for coworkers so he could call in favors — so I gladly took the opportunity to see him once more. Even if it was just for lunch.

I picked up the order he'd placed at a deli near the hospital and headed upstairs to the pediatrics ward to meet him — like he requested. Bright colors and painted animals filled the ward, making it seem a little less awful. It was awful, though. I passed a day room with bald kids, kids that were tethered to oxygen canisters, and kids that were confined to wheelchairs.

I didn't know how he saw this every day, to be honest.

Once I got to the nurses' station, I flashed the visitor's badge he'd left for me downstairs and asked for Edward. The young, cheerful nurse with kittens on her scrubs told me she'd page him. She was too cheerful, if you asked me. Too eager to please. And the second Edward came down the hall, I knew why. Sure, I'd seen him in scrubs before, but not the lab coat and stethoscope dangling from his neck.

Dirty thoughts filled my mind, as I was sure they'd filled the cheerful nurse's. I'd fuck him in an exam room. I'd fuck him in an office. I'd fuck him in the bathroom or even a closet. Hell, I'd fuck him anywhere right about now.

Also, that kind of rhymed. I _Dr. Seuss'd_ it.

"Nice teddy bear," I said as he came to stand before me.

He chuckled and pulled the stethoscope — with attached tiny stuffed animal — from his neck and tucked it into his lab coat pocket. "The kids love him," he said. "Admit it, you do too."

"Very adorable, Dr. Cullen."

"His name's Fred."

I laughed and he leaned down, kissing me in front of the cheerful nurse. When we parted and he thanked her, a little of that cheerfulness went away. I tried to feel bad, but I did not. Those dirty thoughts were mine to have, not hers.

"I want you to meet someone," he said, taking the bag of food from me and then clasping his hand around mine. "I think you'll like her."

"Her, huh?"

He nodded, smiling. "I should probably warn you that I've set you up."

My brow rose as he led me down the hall and through another corridor — the pediatric ICU. "Oh, really?"

We stopped between glass doors in the middle of the hallway and he looked down at me — almost as if he were afraid. "Remember when I told you how I was amazed by you because your books have made my patient smile?

"Yes . . ." I said slowly. "I take it I'm meeting her?"

Now, _that_ part had me a little on edge. I didn't promote my books extensively in person because I _hated_ attention. And not the way that most women say they hate attention but really love it. No, I _really_ hated. My palms would sweat, heart would race, I'd throw up, and there was a time or two I'd had panic attacks when faced with a large crowd at a book signing. I didn't do many, so they were usually packed and everything was done in a blur. I'd answer a few of the usual questions, read a passage while trying not to throw up, and sign book after book while readers told me they loved my work. It was nerve wracking, to be honest. WebMD called it social anxiety disorder, and I was pretty sure the website was spot on with that one — unlike all the times I'd had cancer.

"She loves you and your books," he said. "She's reread them time and time again, though I'm pretty sure the one with the girl with the tragic past is her favorite. She loves how . . . Macy?" he asked and I nodded. "Yeah, she loves how Macy overcame odds and opened herself up to love. I won't be repeating her thoughts on the guy, though. It was a little awkward for me."

I laughed softly as my lips curled into a smile. He spoke of _Willow Falls_ , which was actually my first book and favorite, too. I'd started writing it in high school. It was . . . extremely close to my heart. Even though the protagonist had this horrible past — which included her mother's death — she was strong and learned to live again. The hot guy wasn't so much the main part of the story, but he certainly did add to it.

"I'm sure she mentioned the accidental shower scene?"

For once, it wasn't _my_ cheeks that turned red. "Yes, and like I said, awkward. I still see her as the nine year old who wouldn't let go of her stuffed animal before surgery."

"So . . . who is she?"

"Her name's Vanessa. She's been my patient since I was a resident. She was born with a heart condition — a very serious one. She had a few surgeries when she was little, but as she got older, her heart became weaker and weaker. She's fifteen now and needs a heart transplant. Your books make her happy, Bella. I'm sure I'm way out of line by asking this, but I was hoping you'd meet her?"

"You already told her I was coming, didn't you?"

He nodded. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. You'll make up for lying to get me here, but I guess we should stop wasting time and go see her, huh?"

His lips curled into a smile. "Are you sure?"

"Yes." I nodded, though I was a little — actually a hell of a lot — nervous. I'd never been one-on-one with a fan before, but from the way he spoke of this girl, she seemed like someone I needed to meet.

Hopefully I wouldn't throw up on her.

Grinning, he took my hand again and led me a little further down the hall. We stopped in front of a room, and he slid open the door. Like the rest of the ward, this room was painted a bright color and had cutesy, childish decals on the glass window and door leading into it. It made the terrifying room with machines that beeped and buzzed a little less terrifying.

There was a single bed with a teenage girl in it.

She had an oxygen tube running in front of her nose, heart monitor, and multiple IVs going into her arms, as well as a tube coming out from under the flowery comforter that hooked up to a machine that probably did something very important, though I didn't know what. Her auburn hair was pulled into a ponytail and though she looked quite ill, it was obvious she was a pretty girl.

"Bella, this is Vanessa," Edward said, smiling brightly. You know, the ridiculously handsome smile. "I call her Ness because she hates it.

She rolled her eyes, giggling lightly. "I secretly love it, but don't tell him that."

"I can keep a secret," I pretended to whisper back.

"I can't believe this is her, Dr. Cullen," she said, eying me with a smile. "You're Marie Isabelle."

Edward's lips pressed against my temple as I nodded. "It's really great to meet you, Vanessa. You can call me Bella."

Edward pulled two chairs up to her bed and I sat down next to her as he got our food out. Now I understood the single order of soup he'd requested. She seemed to light up even more when he passed it to her.

"Stays between us, got it?" he asked, winking.

"I like it when he spoils me," she said to me. "My parents follow his and my transplant team's orders to a tee, and yet he's the one that breaks them."

"I'm a rebel," he chuckled, lifting his sandwich.

"Breaking _all_ the rules, huh?" I smirked.

He shrugged. "What can I say? I'm awesome."

"So, I promised Dr. Cullen that I wouldn't tell anyone you came to visit me," Ness said. "I know you're really private. Then again, who would I tell? He has me locked in here until I get a transplant. I kind of want to shout it from the roof, though, because you have _no_ idea how excited I am that _the_ Marie Isabelle is currently sitting next to me."

She bounced a little in the bed, and I couldn't help but laugh some. The fact that she was this excited to meet me rendered me speechless. It seemed . . . insane. Not that she was insane, but that she adored my books so much was.

"Do you . . . want me to sign your books?"

She nodded and reached over to the table beside her bed to grab _Willow Falls_ off of it. "Can I ask you some questions too? If you say no, I totally understand. I think I have a marker around here. Can someone grab that bag for me?" She pointed across the room to the counter, and Edward stood up to retrieve it.

"Yeah, you can ask anything you'd like," I said as Edward handed her the bag and she dug through it for a sharpie marker.

I opened my own book, going to the second page where the title was. I signed just as I always had, but I did something different for her. I signed both names. I'd always kept these two sides of myself separate because I was afraid . . . because I didn't know how not to, but she deserved more. For some unknown reason, I wanted her to know the real person behind the books.

"This is _the coolest thing ever_ ," she said as I laughed. "Oh my God. Okay. Questions. I just have so many!"

"Fire away."

And she did. She spoke quickly and frantically between taking a few moments to breathe slowly and asked me some questions I'd never heard before. They were more complex than the ones at Q&As because those were so rushed. She made me think back to when I wrote Macy's character and I was more honest with her than I'd ever been in any interview.

I told her the reason Macy's mother died, which only Alice and my dad knew.

"My own mom died when I was little," I said as my emotions sprung up out of nowhere. I was literally about in tears, just remembering how I'd used my own experience to write that. "I guess this book was some kind of strange therapy. It . . . helped to write those emotions down. _My_ emotions, through Macy."

"I know it was early in the book and it wasn't even like I'd gotten to know her character yet, but I cried — and still cry — when I read about her finding her mother that morning. I'm sure it sounds weird and I might be out of line, but knowing that about you . . . It makes me understand why that was so devastating to me. The way you wrote it . . . I don't even have words. I _felt_ her pain. I'm really sorry for your loss."

I wiped my tears and forced a smile. "Thank you, Ness."

"So, I have to ask. Did you base Brandon off of anyone? He was _so_ supportive and loving with Macy. He was her friend for what, three years before she really let him in? I kind of love him. He's my fictional character boyfriend."

I laughed softly, nodding. "Mine too, but no, he's entirely made up."

For the next hour, she kept asking questions about the book. It was an unbelievable experience to listen to her talk about my books — to think of them so highly. Of course I'd — for lack of a better word — fangirled over authors before, but it was so insane to have someone do it to me. Sure, at signings people had been excited, but she was on an entirely different — yet awesome — level. I couldn't comprehend it, but it made me incredibly happy.

"You know, reading is how I escape all of this," she said, looking around the room. "It's this made up world that isn't always happy, but always — well, usually and at least with your books — ends happy. It's hopeful. I just want you to know that your books bring me more happiness than I can explain."

I smiled, trying to figure out what the hell I could say back to that. I wrote because _I_ loved it, but of course I also hoped others would, too. I never imagined my own books could be that to someone, like other books had been for me. It was an indescribable, fantastic feeling. "It means so incredibly much to me that you love these books this much," I said. "I'm so glad they make you happy. Thank you for that because knowing it makes me happier than I can express."

"Ladies, unfortunately my lunch break is long over and you need to get some rest, Ness," Edward said. He'd sat there silently, listening to us talk with that handsome smile evident on his face. I'd made sure to look at him. I mean, it was actually just amazing that I'd taken my eyes off of him in the first place.

The lab coat _really_ did things to me.

Totally inappropriate things that I shouldn't have been thinking about in front of a kid, but yeah. _Things_.

"I'm okay," Ness said. "You can go back to work and Bella can stay a little longer, please? I'm nowhere near done. We haven't even talked about _The Secret Meadow_ yet!"

"You need to rest," he repeated. "Doctor's orders and whatnot. Maybe Bella wouldn't mind coming back?"

"I'd love to," I said. "Maybe next time I can bring my laptop and give you a peek at what I've been working on."

Her eyes widened as she grinned. "You're writing another book!"

I shrugged. "Kind of. The characters are a little older, though."

"Hello, does it look like I care?" She laughed. "I'd read your grocery list."

"Great, so it's settled," Edward said, standing up and straightening out the hot-as-fuck lab coat. "I'll be in to check on your during afternoon rounds, all right?"

She nodded, and I moved back as he leaned in to embrace her. He seemed like he was awfully close to her — closer than just the average doctor-patient relationship — and that had me curious.

. . . . .

After saying our goodbyes to Ness, Edward checked his watch and said he had a little big of time before a surgery, so he walked me downstairs.

"I wish I could say that I'm sorry for forcing you into this, but I can't," he said as we stood on the sidewalk. "She hasn't been that happy in so long. Probably since her team and I decided she needed to remain in the hospital."

"She's a great kid." I smiled. "Don't be sorry because I really enjoyed it. You gave me an experience I've never had, and it was incredible to meet her. Thank you for setting me up, just let me know next time, got it? I don't do well with surprises."

He chuckled. "You did look like a dear in headlights for a few minutes there. Why are you so private anyway? She said you rarely do any events."

I sighed. "My books are really close to my heart. I'm asked about why I wrote certain things, and I'm terrified to admit it. I'm afraid of people seeing the real me, you know?"

He caressed my cheek with his lovely magical fingers. "You shouldn't be. The real you is amazing. And just so you know, I did want you to meet Ness to make her happy, but I also wanted you to meet her so you could _see_ the happiness you bring people. What you did today . . . I loved seeing that side of you. I loved hearing you talk about that."

I smiled lightly. "I'm becoming more fond of you."

"Good," he said, lowering his lips to mine. "Because I'm _very_ fond of you."

I wasn't exactly sure what Edward and I were, but right now that didn't matter. I was fond of him and he was fond of me. I enjoyed his conversation and sex, and he he loved seeing different sides of me.

I just wanted to pause time and never let this end.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

 **"** Oh my fucking _god_." I gasped as he continued to rock his hips into me, filling me and then leaving my body completely. It was torture. It was bliss. It was the most spectacular combination of the two. "Please. Please, please, please."

I just needed more. Just a little more, but he kept up with this blissful torture until I was _sure_ I couldn't take anymore. My head dangled off the side of the bed as it rocked with the force of his thrusts. I reached up, grasping his shoulder tightly. His cock filled me again as his mouth closed around my nipple, biting just slightly.

"You're so close, aren't you?" he asked around my breast. "I can feel you, beautiful girl."

The hand that wasn't grasping my hip moved between my legs and he laid his finger against my clit. We both knew full well that the moment his lovely magical fingers started on me, I'd be lost.

And I was.

But he wasn't done. His arms hooked behind my legs, lifting my ass off of the bed as he pulled me further back onto it, thrusting himself in and out of me at a quick pace that kept me going. I screamed and screamed, thankful that it was the middle of the day and, hopefully, my neighbors wouldn't hear me. Fuck it if they did, though.

They should be so lucky.

"Jesus Christ," he grunted just before he came, stilling inside of me.

Moments passed before his body left mine and he collapsed beside me, panting as I did. My head fell to the side, watching as his chest rose and fell. My god he was handsome. I propped myself up on my elbow, running my fingers down his chest and stomach, scratching the trail of hair softly.

"I'm old, Bella," he chuckled. "I'm going to need a minute."

"You're thirty-two," I scoffed. "And I'm just touching you."

His arm wrapped around my shoulder, pulling me down onto his chest. "Touching is good. I could touch you every single moment of the day, and it still wouldn't be enough."

I lifted my head, smiling as I kissed him. "I'd be perfectly fine with that, in case you were wondering."

"I'd pretty much assumed, actually. But, I supposed I should get in the shower if we want to grab something to eat before I work tonight. Not that I didn't enjoy what I just had." He smirked, winking.

I rolled my eyes, laughing softly. "You're naughty."

"The good naughty or the perverted naughty?"

"Most certainly good."

. . . . .

"What are you doing this weekend?" Edward asked.

I shrugged as I shook a little salt over my dinner. "No big plans, why?"

"Well, since I work on Thanksgiving and can't spend it with my family, my parents decided they'd take the train up from D.C on Friday and spend the weekend with me. Would you want to meet them?"

My eyes widened at the _absurd_ question he just asked. His parents. Meet. His. Parents. We'd been spending all of his free time together over the past few months, but I didn't realize _that_ would happen. Even though it made me that depressed woman again to think about, I _did_ think about the fact that this wouldn't last forever. He never referred to himself as my boyfriend, and I kind of just thought of him as a friend I quite enjoyed fucking — who I also had this crazy thing called feelings for.

"You want _me_ to meet your parents?" I asked, dumbfounded.

He smiled, nodding as he took the salt from my hand. "They know about you, and I highly doubt they'd get out of New York without trying to meet you, so why not?"

"What did you tell them about me?"

That was a sly way of asking what he considered me, right?

"I told them I meet a beautiful, brilliant, hilarious woman whom I enjoy spending as much time as possible with. I told them the truth — that I was dating someone."

He said dating. I pushed down the cynical part of me that scoffed at it and smiled. Because I wanted to be dating the handsome Edward Cullen. In fact, there was nothing I wanted more than to stop having to wonder what the hell it was that we were doing.

"Oh," I said softly with the ridiculous smile still in place. "Did you tell them of any . . . other women?"

I was smooth.

He laughed. "Are you asking if we're exclusive?"

"I think it's a good question to ask when you're dating someone."

"Well, yes, I consider us exclusive. And now that we've gotten the semi-awkward dating question out of the way, what do you think about my other question?" He lifted his fork, taking a bite of his dinner.

"Your mom isn't one of the psycho mothers that'll try to end me for stealing her baby boy's attention, is she?"

"She is not," he chuckled. "In fact, she likes you already and is the reason I'm asking you — because she pretty much threatened me if I didn't."

"I think I already like your mom, too." I smiled, taking a bite of my dinner.

"So that's a yes?"

I nodded. "Why the hell not?"

. . . . .

I had my proper freak out over the fact that I was meeting Edward's parents once I'd gotten home and called Alice. After we'd eaten, I walked him the few blocks to the hospital. You know, while I tried not to think about the fact that I was _meeting his fucking parents_ in a few days.

"They're going to see how totally fucked up I am and tell him to run as fast as he can away from me," I told her, stretching out on my bed and looking up at my ceiling. The lovely _Juicy_ sweatpants were already covering my ass, but they did not give me their usual comfort. "God, this is how it ends, isn't it? The happiness, the mind blowing sex, the great conversation . . . it ends this weekend."

"Stop being so dramatic," she said. "He's seen your crazy and hasn't run away, so I'm sure he isn't going anywhere now. This is a good thing, Bella! It means that he likes you _so much_ that he wants the most important people in his life to know you."

"But I kind of suck."

"You are a bestselling author!" she shrieked.

"Um . . . ouch? Little loud there, short stuff."

"Fuck you. But back to my point, you don't suck! Really. You don't. If you did, I wouldn't be friends with you because let's face it, I'm a bitch."

I nodded to myself. "True."

"Just . . . be yourself. I mean, don't be super depressing, but be the person you've been lately. That's a good person."

"The happy person I've been since I met Edward?"

"Aww, you see it, too!"

I rolled my eyes. Yeah, I'd seen it and, to be quite honest, it scared the hell out of me. Just a week and a half ago I'd met a fan because of him. A fan who I'd seen twice since because, well, the kid was cool. I totally understood why Edward was so attached to her. I could still hardly believe I'd done that, but it was an incredible experience. Opening myself up to her, telling her _why_ certain characters were the way they were and why things happened how they did . . . it felt so strange but so good at the same time. It felt like I'd been carrying around this weight that I'd finally lifted by telling someone, and then hearing that they understood it. She might have been fifteen, but Ness was brilliant.

I couldn't comprehend the ways I'd changed since I met Edward. I'd catch myself acting differently and realize it was because of the happiness the handsome man had given me. But happiness . . . it wasn't forever.

And it certainly wasn't forever for me.

"What the hell's happened to me, Alice?"

I heard her laugh and felt a little offended. This wasn't the least bit funny. "I can't tell you that, Bella. One day . . . one day you'll see."

"Since when did you get so vague?"

"No one can tell you what you feel."

Bullshit. I kind of _needed_ someone to tell me what I felt because I was clueless.

. . . . .

"I'd totally choose to be Iron Man," Edward said as we walked down the street. My arm was through his with my body as close as it could get. There was nothing better than touching the handsome man that I was _dating_. "I mean, he's rich, a genius, and, well, even I have to admit that he's good looking."

I laughed at the utterly ridiculous topic we'd gotten on. He'd spent the entire day at my apartment because when he went to work tonight, I wouldn't see him again until Friday — you know, when I was to meet his _fucking_ parents. He agreed to work a double to cover for one of his coworkers, so the guy could spend the holiday with his kids. And since we wouldn't be seeing each other at all tomorrow, we'd spent the day together, relaxing and watching some of the Marvel movies he'd brought over, ending with _The Avengers_.

"You wouldn't want to be Thor?" I asked.

He shrugged. "You know, I'm not sure I could pull off the hair and cape. I'd wind up tripping over the cape and then wouldn't be able to see because of the hair. It'd end badly."

"Well, I _have_ always had a crush on Robert Downy Jr.."

He looked down at me as his lips curled into a smile. "I guess that just seals the deal, then. I'll be Iron Man and you can be Pepper Pots."

I nodded. "Sounds good to me because I get your company. Now, buy me coffee."

We stopped and headed into the coffee shop a block from the hospital. Since he still had an hour before his shift started, we sat down on a love-seat near the window once we got our coffee.

"Are you sure you'll be all right not doing anything tomorrow?" Edward asked as I sipped my hazelnut deliciousness.

Honestly, I tried not to think about it. I'd told myself over and over that it was just another day, but it wasn't. At least I spent my first Thanksgiving without Dad with Alice, but this year she went home for the holiday — taking Jasper with her because yeah, they were _that_ serious again. She invited me to go along, but I just . . . I couldn't. I hadn't been back since Dad died, and I wasn't sure I ever could.

"I'll be okay," I said, meeting his gaze and forcing a smile. "Really."

His handsome brow cocked, knowing full well that I was lying my ass off. "You can come to the hospital, you know. We can eat supermarket rotisserie turkey in my office while I work on charts."

"That sounds . . . fun," I laughed softly.

He shrugged. "It'd be better if you were there."

"Well, I'd planned on an all day trip to the movies, but I suppose I could fit you in."

He smirked, pulling me closer to him. "Excellent, I'm glad I could be fit in. You can watch god-awful movies after."

Once we'd finished our coffee, I walked with him the rest of the way to the hospital because I wanted to stop in and see Ness. He held my hand through the hospital and up to his office, giving me all of these feelings and whatnot. I _immensely_ enjoyed holding his hand, let's just say.

"I'll call you later, all right?" he asked outside of his office door.

I nodded. "Okay. I probably won't be long with Ness, but I want to check on her."

"Yeah, she wasn't doing great yesterday, so she'll be my first stop on rounds."

My brow creased. "What's wrong with her?"

He sighed. "She's dying, Bella. Hopefully she gets a heart in time, but . . . she's coming to the end of what we can do for her without one. It's awful, but it's the reality of the situation."

"I . . . didn't realize."

His fingertips ran over my cheek as he smiled sympathetically. "I'm not letting her go without a fight, so please don't worry too much. She was having a bad day yesterday. Hopefully today is better."

"I hope so. I emailed her another chapter of the book, so I think if she were able to read it, it would have made her happy."

"I'm sure it made her extremely happy. I'll see you later, okay?"

He kissed me, pulling my body close to his for the few brief moments. We separated long before I was ready, but I doubted I would ever be ready. Well, at least not if I couldn't push him into the office and fuck him on his desk.

That was totally on my bucket list.

. . . . .

Ness wasn't better when I saw her. She was half asleep and I only stayed for a few minutes, but for those few minutes she smiled. In less than two weeks, she was looking so much worse. Her mom told me she was having trouble breathing because of the fluid in her lungs — a side effect of the heart failure — but that it'd gotten bad before and Edward, along with her other doctors had eased it and were working on doing it again.

I didn't know Ness that well, but I did care for her already. She just . . . had that effect, I think. I wasn't at all the praying kind, but I did for her. She deserved to experience life, not just read about it in a book. She was too young to die.

Once I got back to my apartment, I spent most of the night writing and editing. I'd managed to write almost an entire first draft in two months, which for me, was insane. It was astonishing what this relationship thing did for my writing.

As did the fabulous sex.

I swear I didn't email the porn to Ness, though she did try to convince me to. I was sure her parents trusted me not to corrupt her innocence. I was proud of how adult-like I was, all denying a child porn and whatnot.

. . . . .

I spent Thanksgiving morning watching the parade on TV as I talked to Alice, hearing about everything that'd been happening in our small hometown. Shockingly, there wasn't much to hear. A few people had passed away, a couple kids had been born, and most unsurprisingly of all, Jessica Stanley and Mike Newton finally married. I guess after screwing her way through college and most of Seattle, Jessica finally moved home had went back to her high school sweetheart as predicted.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Alice asked as I pulled the ingredients for homemade brownies out of the cupboard.

"I promise. I'm baking brownies."

"Oh God, I should get a flight home right away."

"Har-har. I can bake. I can't cook, but I _can_ bake."

"Uh-huh. So, I take it you're poisoning Edward?"

I rolled my eyes, completely unamused by her shit. I'd never live down the time I gave her food poisoning. Totally not my fault. "He asked me to have Thanksgiving with him at the hospital. We're having rotisserie turkey from the supermarket. You're jealous, I know."

"I'm _happy_ for you, not jealous," she said. "I'm glad he's getting you out of your apartment today."

I pulled myself up on the counter once I'd preheated the oven. "Honestly? I am, too. I'm okay, I swear, but . . . I didn't really want to be alone."

She sighed into the phone and I knew full well what she was about to say, so I beat her to it. "No, I didn't want to come with you and I didn't want you to stay here. I would have been fine alone, but I'm just glad I'm not."

"I still feel bad."

"Don't. Now, I'm going to bake so I'll talk to you later."

"Okay, I love you."

"Love you, too."

Once I put all the ingredients together, I slid the pan into the oven and sat down at the counter, adding and deleting a little here and there in the document I was working on. Alice was completely wrong about my terrible cooking skills, but I really wasn't the worst cook in the world. That title belonged to Dad. The kitchen just hated me, especially the stove. Fucker got a kick out of burning me, which it did once again today when I pulled the brownies out of the oven once the timer went off.

Aside from being a tiny bit overcooked, they seemed edible, so I put them in a container and then showered before leaving for the hospital around noon, as requested by Edward. It seemed a little early for our Thanksgiving meal to me, but I decided to just go with it.

Besides, spending time with Edward had easily become one of my favorite things, so I'd take whatever I could.

. . . . .

Edward was once again wearing the scrubs and fuck hot lab coat when he greeted me on the patient floor, instead of at his office a few floors up. His arms were around me and his lips against mine before I could even greet him.

Which, I mean, was _totally_ okay with me.

"Hi," he said, grinning as he pulled back. "Happy Thanksgiving."

"You too. So, I made brownies." I pulled the container from my purse, opening the lid so he could smell then. Of course he just grabbed one out, popping it into his mouth.

"That's _dessert_ , you know."

"Also chewy," he chuckled once he swallowed. "But delicious. Our turkey and sides are in the break room by my office, but I figure that can wait a bit, yes?"

I cocked my brow, narrowing my eyes. "Are you ambushing me again?"

He shrugged. "Somewhat, but I promise no adoring fans this time. I'm expected to make some had turkeys with my kids, so you get to join me."

Well, that certainly didn't sound so bad. The only patient of his I'd met was Ness so, to be honest, I was a little excited that he was introducing me to a few others. He spoke so affectionately of them — with such love. It was another thing that made me grow fonder of him. It was clear as day that he was committed to his patients.

And that was about as sexy as the lab coat.

After putting my coat and purse at the nurses' station like he said I could, we headed to the day room. His hand was clasped tightly around mine and a smile was evident on his lips when we walked in.

His presence was an instant thing with multiple kids saying, "Dr. Cullen!"

His hand left mine as a little girl — around five or so — stood from her chair at the table and walked over to him as quickly as she could. Her arms were out and he lifted her up, settling her on his hip.

"You didn't come this morning," she said, giving him a disapproved look.

He gaped, feigning offense. "I did, too. You were asleep, little missy. Slept right through all of my poking and prodding."

That was when I noticed the bandage on her chest, peeking through the top of her pink hospital gown. Honestly, she didn't look _that_ sickly. She was smiling and talking his ear off, completely overjoyed that she was in his arms.

"Bella, this is Cindy," Edward said, smiling. "This is my friend Bella."

She laid her head against his neck, peeking out at me through her blonde bangs. "Hi," she whispered.

"Hi, sweetheart," I said, smiling as I waved.

"Oh, now you're shy, huh?" he laughed softly. "Tell her how amazing you are, Cindy."

She shook her head, giggling as she buried her face into his neck. She was so adorable, to tell you the truth. I wasn't even offended that she refused to talk to me.

"Well, I guess I will, then," he said. "Cindy was in a car accident a few weeks ago. Her heart was damaged from the impact, and she gave me quite the scare. But you're getting better now, aren't you?"

She nodded, lifting her head. "I'm going home next week!"

"That's great!" I said. "I bet you're excited, huh?"

"Yeah-huh. Wanna see my picture?"

"Of course!"

She made Edward put her down, and then we walked back over to the little table where a few kids were seated. She handed the picture to me and told me _all_ about how it was, and I'm quoting, "the pretty Dr. Cullen." I had to admit that the stick figure did somewhat resemble him. The stuffed animal on his stethoscope — Fred — was even in the picture.

Once she went back to coloring, we made our way around the room and I was introduced to a few of his other patients and their parents. It was . . . a special experience — one I would never forget. He was amazing with the kids, which ranged from toddlers to teens and they all adored him. I was quickly informed by an eight year old girl that Edward was her husband, and a little boy told me how Edward promised he'd get to see a Yankees game in the spring. Edward had already bought the tickets for him and his dad even.

"He's recovering from his third surgery," Edward said. "He was born with a severe birth defect and, unfortunately, still isn't done with corrective surgery. We're planning for one more in a few years."

I traced the outline of my hand on the construction paper as he did from beside me — our hand turkeys. "He seems like he's in great spirits."

"Definitely. That's another thing I love about working with children. They're _so_ incredibly resilient, and though one day might be bad, the next they're the happiest kid in the world."

I lifted my head, smiling. "You love your job."

He nodded. "More than anything. That's why I asked you to come here early today. I wanted you to see this side of me."

It made him even more handsome. I mean, he was extraordinarily gorgeous sure, but his personality made it _real —_ if that made any sense at all. "So, is Lizzie the only young girl you're married to?"

He laughed. "Actually, no. I'm engaged to quite a few, as well. What can I say? I can't refuse them."

"Ah, ladies man."

He leaned in, kissing my cheek. "Most definitely. I'm very charming."

"This is true. I think you just went up another level on my fondness scale."

Once our hand turkeys were done and Edward had spent time with each of his patients, we left them and headed to his office. I'd never actually been inside the small room, but it was a sight to see. His desk was large with charts and paperwork piled high on it and a computer buried under them. Behind that there were bookshelves, filled with medical texts of titles I almost didn't even understand.

Across the room there was a large, leather sofa with a bulletin board over it. It was completely covered in drawings and letters from what I assumed were his patients. Without a thought, I moved closer to it, reading a few of them.

 **Thank you for fixing my heart, Dr. Cullen.**

 **I'm going to miss you and Fred. Thank you.**

 **Thank you for making me better. I can't wait to play again!**

There were tons more, stating similar things over and over. They were so special, making me smile as I read the names signed to each one.

"You treated all of these kids?" I asked, looking down at him as he settled onto the couch, pulling the coffee table closer.

He nodded. "Yep, I started collecting them when I was a resident. Eventually, I'll need another board. Are you hungry?"

"Yeah, yeah," I said, looking back up at the board. The drawings were just as special as the letters, and I could easily look at them for a while. I didn't have words to describe what I was feeling — how happy I was that he let me see this side of him. It was incredible, to be honest.

Eventually I did sit down, and we shared the supermarket rotisserie turkey and store bought, ready-made mashed potatoes and stuffing. It actually wasn't half bad. Certainly not homemade, but I didn't care.

"Thank you for inviting me here today," I said, tearing apart a brownie and putting a bite in my mouth.

"Better than a day at the movies?"

"Much better." I nodded.

He smiled, resting his hand my thigh. "Good. I know it's not much of a way to spend a holiday, but I really wanted to spend it with you. I didn't want you to be alone."

"Honestly, I didn't want to be either. I . . . it's hard for me to admit this. To show anyone this side of me."

"That you're lonely?"

"Yeah," I sighed, nodding. "I just want you to know that since I met you, I've been happier. A lot happier. You've . . . God, this might sound lame and make you run for the door, but you've been a brightness in my life the last few months. You mean a lot to me."

There, I said it. I didn't say that I was fond of him and I didn't say that I just liked him. I told him the truth. He meant more to me than I really understood. It was a scary thought, but it was the truth. This wasn't just a _thing_ to me — if it ever even was just that. It was something that I didn't realize I needed so badly.

He was something to me. Something I would never forget.

"You mean a lot to me too, Bella," he said, dipping his head to press a kiss to my lips. "I'm glad I'm a brightness in your life. Thank you for letting me in. For lowering the walls I'm sure you've put up to protect yourself."

The walls were crumbling, in fact. My heart that was devastated by the loss of my father and mother, that was broken by different men because of bad breakups, was becoming exposed.

A terrifying, yet hopeful thought.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

"Are you sure you want me to meet them tonight?" I asked, sitting down on Edward's couch as he wrapped his arm around my shoulders. It wouldn't be long now before his parents arrived. I'd kept busy for the last hour and a half by reading, but now I was getting more and more anxious. "I mean, they're probably tired from traveling."

I was terrified, but I seemed to be hiding it well enough. I hadn't freaked the fuck out in front of Edward yet, so I considered that a win.

"Bella Swan, are you nervous?" He smirked as I smacked him in the chest.

"Yes! And it's not funny. I've never met someone's parents before."

He pulled me closer to him again and pressed his lips to the top of my head. "I really want you to meet them tonight. They're taking us out to dinner. You like food, remember? And it's free at that."

I honestly couldn't even think about food. The thought made me want to throw up. "It's just . . . I don't know what to expect. I like knowing what to expect."

He smiled. "Well, my mom will most certainly hug you — she's a hugger. But honestly, I'm not exactly sure what to expect either. Besides a few high school girlfriends, you're the first person that I've wanted them to meet. I do _know_ they'll like you, though, so don't worry. And try to breathe normally. Passing out might not be the best first impression."

Yeah. My breaths were getting a little ragged. Oops. "I that really isn't the best idea, huh?"

Suddenly, his phone started ringing. As he pulled it from his pocket and looked at the screen, he said, "It's them. Ready?"

No. "Yeah."

He answered his phone, which was his dad saying that they had just pulled up, but not to come down. Edward unlocked the building door and then we waited. For what _really_ did seem like eternity. They knocked and Edward quickly opened the door as I stood to the side.

His mom came through first with his dad behind her, carrying a suitcase and bag over his shoulder, which Edward quickly took and placed on the floor. His mom was more beautiful than the pictures had shown. She was a small woman with the same bronze hair as her son. Honestly, she didn't look a day over forty — which I knew full well that she was. She threw her arms around her son's neck, gripping him tightly before releasing him and zeroing in on me as Edward embraced his dad — who was exceptionally good looking for his age.

This family had insanely good genes. I was a little jealous. His hair was blond, not a hint of grey that I could see and he was just an inch or so shy of Edward's height. Like, if I had a thing for older men, I'd jump him. That good looking.

I was probably going to hell for thinking that, in case you were wondering.

"You must be Bella," Mrs. Cullen said, taking a few steps closer to me as she grinned from ear to ear.

Just as Edward had said, she hugged me. I probably should have been more prepared for it, but I was not. I stiffened before realizing I'd done so and relaxed, hoping she didn't notice.

"It's good to meet you, Mrs. Cullen," I said as she released me.

"Esme, sweetheart, and I'm so glad to meet you!" She turned to her son and, I swear to god, gave him a thumbs up.

I had to laugh as he rolled his eyes.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Bella," Dr. Cullen said, holding his hand out for me.

I laid my hand in his, and he clasped his other one over it for a moment as he smiled. Ah, so that was where Edward got his manners from. "You too, Dr. Cullen."

"Please, Carlisle. We're so glad that you were available to meet us. Edward's told us so much."

. . . . .

Once their bags were unpacked and they were settled, we grabbed a taxi and headed to City Hall — a restaurant in TriBeCa. Before we'd left, I got to enjoy watching Esme boss her son around. It was hilarious and I kind of adored the woman already. She had a great personality. Loud but not obnoxious, funny but not at all mean, and sweet as could be.

"How's your fellowship going?" Carlisle asked Edward as we sat at the table, sampling the appetizers in front of us.

"Good. I'll be an attending in a few months, hopefully," Edward said.

"Has he told you how long he's been studying, Bella?" Carlisle asked with pride pouring out of him. "He graduated high school at fifteen and began medical school before he was twenty."

"Oh, you never told me I was dating a genius," I teased.

Edward shrugged, smiling. "I'm just committed. I knew at an early age that I wanted to be a surgeon, so I worked hard."

"As a child, we'd find him in Carlisle's study — one of his medical texts in hand," Esme said. "He would _beg_ Carlisle to take him to work with him, but of course that wasn't enough. No, this child decided to sneak into an operating room's observation area. Carlisle called me, panicked that he'd lost our son."

"He was missing for two hours!" Carlisle laughed. "I'd left him in my office and he disappeared on me. Needless to say, I was yelled at by both my wife and boss. Edward wasn't allowed to come back for years, not even on career day."

"I watched a heart surgery," Edward said, grinning. "It was awesome."

I sat there silently, smiling as I heard more stories about Edward's childhood. Apparently his brother, Emmett, was the wild one while Edward was the most well behaved child in the world. I found that extremely easy to believe. The naughty sex-god must've come out in college. Once our food came, the conversation left Edward and focused on me.

"Edward said you're a writer, yes?" Esme asked.

I nodded. "Yeah. I've published some young adult books and I freelance, writing articles for magazines and newspapers."

"That's wonderful," Carlisle said. "I'm sure you're very talented."

"She is," Edward said, smiling as his hand moved higher on my thigh.

Completely inappropriate? Hell yes. But, I liked inappropriate. And I liked his hand. A lot.

"Where are you from?" Esme asked.

"A small town in Washington State called Forks. It's west of Seattle."

"Oh, Washington is a beautiful state! We've gone to Seattle before because Carlisle had a medical conference there. Do you miss the small town?"

I sighed, forcing a smile. I missed it more than I could ever express, but it was more that I missed _who_ had been there. "I do sometimes. I came to New York for college, and I just never left. My best friends moved here with me, though, so that definitely helps."

As we ate, I told them about Alice, more about myself, and eventually the conversation turned for me to ask them questions. They never once asked about my family, which made me feel relieved, but also somewhat sad. How I wished I had my parents to talk about.

I was sad that I didn't have the family Edward did because his parents were amazing. They loved their son so much and were so proud of him. I missed that most of all with Dad. I missed telling him about my books and hearing the pride in his voice. I miss knowing that anytime he'd see one of my books in a store, he'd buy it.

Seeing Edward with his parents made me miss mine, but it also made me happy. They were incredibly kind to me throughout the evening, and I truly believed they liked me.

Crazy, right?

It seemed like it to me, but eh. It just made me happy. Obviously the nervousness I felt before meeting them was entirely unfounded, but . . . I still was, somewhat. Their son was an amazing man. He had devoted so many years of his life to studying medicine and becoming the man he was. What if they realized I wasn't what was best for him?

God, I sounded like the most insecure woman in the world, and the handsome manhad done this to me by giving me all these feelings and hopes and dreams. But even with all of this insecurity, I'd never been happier.

. . . . .

After dinner, I'd taken a separate cab back to my apartment. Edward had invited me to stay the night, but I figured it'd be best if I didn't. We'd touch, things would happen, I'd be loud, and then his parents would hear. Basically, it was a recipe for disaster.

They liked me right now, after all.

When I woke up the next morning, I headed to the diner Edward and I frequented to meet him and his parents for a late breakfast. I found them in a booth, and Edward's eyes instantly zeroed in on me from his position facing the door. He rose from his seat, wrapping his arm around my waist as our lips met for a few brief moments.

Breakfast wasn't much of a fanfare — just some light conversation — and then we made plans for the day. They'd already purchased tickets for all four of us for a Broadway musical tonight, but before that, they wanted to do some sightseeing. It was funny, actually. Though I'd lived in New York City for almost ten years, I'd never done much of the touristy things — not even when Dad visited.

Well, unless you count the New York City Police Department museum. We'd gone there each time he'd come for a visit.

I had a surprisingly good time at each of the sights and shops we went to, even though the crowds were horrendous. We'd visited the Empire State Building, Rockefeller Center, Central Park, and ended the afternoon in Times Square for a late lunch. While we went about the city, my nerves around them had pretty much disappeared and I was able to learned more and more about Edward's parents while they asked me other questions.

"Okay, now I need to hear the whole story of how you two met," I said, laughing from watching Carlisle tease Esme.

If there was one thing — besides their ridiculously good genes — I'd noticed, it was that the two of them seemed so very much in love. They held hands throughout the entire day, he stole kisses time and time again, and the way they looked at each other . . . it was just clear as day that they were in love.

It was a beautiful thing.

"You get to start, darling," Carlisle said, smiling down at his wife as he wrapped his arm around her shoulder.

"What has Edward told you?" she asked me.

"Just that you were a cop, which led to the two of you meeting."

"Well, that's true, of course. You know, my father always called my dream of being a police officer silly. This was the seventies and it wasn't as _normal_ as it is today. But, it was what I wanted. I was a young girl with this idea of justice and right and wrong. I wanted to help people — to put the bad guys away. Anyway, I was on the force for two years before I was shot in the line of duty. I loved it. I loved the challenge of it, but of course it wasn't exactly how I'd dreamed. There were many bad days as well with hard cases.

"I was responding to a domestic dispute — very routine and common. Long story short about that, the man had a concealed weapon and began firing. I was hit in the abdomen, but I did manage to get a shot off."

"While on the ground, mind you," Carlisle added.

"Carlisle was my surgeon. I was awake when I was brought in, and though it's all a little fuzzy, I remember thinking, 'well, at least I get to see the handsomest man in the world before I die.' He was so calm and caring before I lost consciousness. When I woke up in recovery, he was there, hovering over me."

"I was completely unprofessional and inappropriate, and asked her out two days later," Carlisle chuckled. "There was just no possible way to resist such a magnificent woman."

"I looked like hell and we both know that," Esme said, rolling her eyes.

He kissed her temple. "Lies, Bella, lies."

I was smiling, laughing softly at their exchange. "Sounds like you two were meant to be."

If there were such a thing as fate, maybe that was what brought the two of them together. Horrible circumstances, of course, but they found each other.

Esme nodded, looking up at her husband before glancing back to me. "I believe so. It was an awful experience, but it brought me to the love of my life. We didn't date for long before we married."

"I couldn't help myself," Carlisle said.

"That's a really incredible story," I said. "Thank you for telling it to me."

"Oh, they love telling it, Bella," Edward said as his arm stretched over my shoulder, mirroring his father's position. "Trust me. It won't be the last time you hear it."

I smiled, hoping it wouldn't be. I _really_ liked Carlisle and Esme. They were much easier going than I thought they'd be, and they seemed to be genuinely interested in _me_ — in getting to know me. At one point during the day, we happened into a bookstore and Esme asked if my novels were there. I picked up a copy of my first book for her, even though it made me extremely nervous, and she promised to read it.

She bought my book.

She _bought_ my fucking book, not because she was actually interested in reading it, but because she said she wanted to get to know me better. It scared the hell out of me, but also made me incredibly happy. I'd never wanted someone to like my books as much as I wanted her to because I _liked_ her.

Edward's mother was . . . she was incredible. She was strong willed, vocal, and utterly hilarious at times. She reminded me of my own mother in a way — or at least what I could remember of her.

And Carlisle . . . well, Carlisle was great. He was so much like Edward in so many ways, and I easily recognized where Edward had gotten his mannerisms. He was quiet and thoughtful — one of the most polite men I'd ever met. And just like his wife, he was easy to talk to once I'd gotten over my nervousness.

The pride they had in their son brought a smile to my face each time it came out. He was lucky that these were his parents, and _I_ was lucky that the man I'd become so incredibly fond of was raised by such amazing people.

. . . . .

After going home to change into a dress, I met Edward and his parents at the theater for _Wicked_ , which I'd actually seen before with Alice. Once again, though, I adored the musical. The entire day had been so much better than I imagined, and I was saddened by the fact that Carlisle and Esme were leaving tomorrow afternoon.

Edward could only take so much time off of work, so the trip was quick. They'd be going back to Virginia to spend more time with Emmett and their grandchildren before going home to Chicago next weekend.

"Are you positive you can't come home for Christmas, Edward?" Esme asked once we'd gotten back to Edward's apartment.

It was a little past ten, but since I wouldn't be seeing them off tomorrow, the decision had been made for me to come back here for a little while with them.

"I'm sorry, Ma," Edward said, sitting down next to me after passing his dad a beer. "Next year will be easier to get time off since I'll be an attending. Hey, maybe Bella will want to come for a visit with me."

She grinned, nodding. "We'd love to see you again, sweetheart."

"I'd like that, too," I said, hoping maybe, just maybe it'd happen. "I'm so glad I could meet you both this weekend. I'm sorry we didn't have more time to get to know each other."

"As are we," Carlisle said. "But it's been nice to finally get to meet the woman our son is constantly talking about."

"Oh, yes," Esme laughed as I watched Edward blush ever so slightly. "He goes on and on and on about you. It's a constant."

"It's not a _constant_ ," Edward said. "But then again, I'm very fond of you, so it could be."

I smiled, laughing softly. "I'm very fond of you too, so I'm glad I'm a constant topic of discussion."

I really was, actually. It made me all fluttery and happy and smiley that he talked to his parents about me. There were _much_ better words to describe it, but yeah. Fluttery and happy and smiley fit best.

I stayed at Edward's apartment until after midnight, talking to his parents about anything and everything someone brought up. Plans were made that once Edward finished his fellowship, he'd come home for a week and an invitation was extended to me. We'd been seeing each other for barely three months, but that didn't seem to concern anyone but me. And since it didn't concern them, I decided not to even think about.

I _would_ , but I pretended to myself that I wouldn't because this was nice. This was what I wanted to think about . . . a possible future.

. . . . .

It'd been two weeks since Edward's parents left, and I'd barely seen him thanks to his work schedule. We'd kept in touch, of course, but it wasn't quite the same. I missed him. It seemed so utterly insane that I missed a man this much, but I did.

And it wasn't just the spectacular sex I missed, either.

No, it was everything. Every single thing.

"I'm getting out of this hospital tonight, got it?" Edward said as we spoke on the phone. "And when I do, I request your presence at my apartment. Preferably wearing nothing under a trench coat."

I laughed, though I was a bit intrigued by that idea. "Nothing, huh? Not even something sexy that you could rip off?"

"I'll rip off the trench coat."

"Are you serious?"

"Dead serious. I guess the clothing could be different, but I do want you at my apartment at eight tonight. I'm picking us up dinner."

I smiled to myself. "Dinner with you sounds lovely, you know."

"Yes. Yes, I do. It's been too long since we've actually gotten to spend time together. At the risk of sounding extraordinarily clingy, I'm missing you greatly. So, will you be there?"

"Of course. And I miss you too, just so you know."

"Well, that makes me feel much better about my clinginess," he chuckled. "Eight sharp, all right?"

"Yes, Dr. Cullen."

He rolled his tongue, almost as if he were growling. Ah, so that did things to him? Wonderful. "I cannot wait to rip off whatever clothing you have on tonight."

"Feisty," I laughed.

"Horny, actually. And before I tell you to touch yourself, I better get back to work."

"I mean, phone sex _could_ be hot."

"I'm wearing scrubs, woman. I'm extremely close to pitching a tent in these pants as I picture you spread out on my bed tonight, and I'm quite sure the parents of my patients wouldn't appreciate that."

"Probably not. I'll see you later."

"Yes, you will. Goodbye, beautiful girl."

I hung up the phone, grinning like a fool as I leapt off of my couch, running into my bedroom. I had two hours to get ready for tonight, so I didn't want to waste a single moment. I had missed _everything_ about Edward, but let's face it, the getting fucked so hard I couldn't walk straight was quite high up on that list.

Once I'd showered, shaved, and picked out what to wear, I left my apartment at quarter 'til eight, arriving right on time, thankfully.

Moments after I knocked, Edward swung open the door, eyeing me up and down as he smirked. "Beautiful."

His lips were against mine as soon as the door closed behind me, and I soaked it up. His touch, his lips, his scent. Two weeks was much too long to go without getting to be alone with the handsome man.

"I have two days off," he said, smiling as he took my hand and led me into the kitchen. "I don't think you should go home within those two days."

"I like the sound of that," I laughed softly, sitting down in the chair he pulled out for me. "Aren't you tired, though? And oh, that smells _really_ good."

He sat down across from me, nodding. "I picked up some Italian, and I'm fine, Bella. I've just been swamped lately. Besides my already scheduled procedures, I've had patient after patient come into the ER."

"At least you're getting surgeries, though, right?" I reached out, taking the container of pasta from him.

He nodded. "Yeah, the more surgeries I have, the quicker I can finish my fellowship. I'll probably be done around March now, according to my attending."

Over dinner, we continued to talk about his work. He needed so many hours in the operating room to complete his fellowship, and he was getting close. He'd already been hired by the hospital as an attending, so even though he was tired from working so much, it didn't bother him — except the fact that we hadn't seen each other much. He was just ready to finish his training and actually begin his career.

"You know, I'm not actually that hungry," he said, smirking as he dropped his fork. "Actually, I am, but not for this."

The way he looked at me made my skin tingle and I completely forgot about the delicious food in front of me. Within moments, we were in his bedroom and he was doing just what he promised — tearing the clothes off of me as I did the same to him. I couldn't take my hands off of him, needing to feel him against me. Our lips barely parted — only to breathe and pull the constricting clothing from each other's bodies.

"God, I've missed you." His voice was husky, so very sexy. His lips crashed back against mine as I tugged at the hair on the nape of his neck, trying to keep our lips together.

I was needy, and I wasn't ashamed of it. His hand was on my breast, kneading as his thumb gazed over my nipple. I arched into him, needing him to touch me more — needing _everything_ from him.

When his lips left mine, I pouted for a moment until I realized why. He worked his way down my body, kissing every inch of my skin as he positioned himself between my legs. I squeaked in surprise as he pulled on my thighs, moving me further down the bed.

"Gorgeous," he said as his eyes fell between my open legs.

He ran a finger over my clit and down to my entrance. His touch was so light and soft, but I knew full well what was to come, and I couldn't fucking wait. He didn't make me. His face went between my legs and his tongue — his incredible tongue — laid flat against me, teasing me.

My hands found his, squeezing them tightly as his mouth worked on my clit — sucking, licking, nibbling ever so slightly. He had an incredible tongue, magical fingers, and a glorious cock. What more in the world could a girl ask for?

I came loudly, lasting only a few minutes as he did what he did best. I screamed, lifting my back off of the bed as my thighs tightened around his head. "Oh, god _yes_ ," I hissed, falling back on the bed, trying to catch my breath.

He moved back up my body, and I opened my eyes to find him licking his lips. "You taste so damn good, beautiful girl."

"Come here," I whispered, weaving my hand through his hair and pulling his lips to mine.

As we kissed, he positioned the head of his cock at my entrance, moving swiftly into me. The feeling of having him in me, just moments after I came was incredible.

But then, his phone rang.

He stilled inside of me and cursed, dropping his head onto my shoulder. "It's the hospital," he sighed.

As much as I wanted to beg him to ignore it, I knew he couldn't. His body left mine and I sat up, holding the sheet to my chest as he put the phone to his ear, answering as Dr. Cullen.

There was silence for all of a few seconds before he asked, "What the hell happened?" His tone was angry, which I'd never heard before. "No. No, I'll be there in ten minutes . . . Yes, please do. Goodbye."

"A patient?" I asked as he tossed his phone on the bed, rushing to find clothes.

"It's Ness." His tone had taken a complete three-sixty, going from anger when he was on the phone to . . . he seemed scared now. "She's taken a turn. I'm so sorry, Bella. I've got to go."

I'd visited Ness a few days ago, and she really hadn't gotten much better. There was talk of her undergoing another surgery to try and aid her heart, but Edward and her team felt like it would more than likely kill her at this point. She was truly down to the wire of needing a transplant.

"Of course," I said, wide-eyed and fearful. "Is . . . is she going to be okay?"

He pulled a pair of scrub pants on, tying them tightly. "I don't know," he sighed. "They called a code."

"She's dying?"

That was what a code meant, right? Oh God . . .


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Once Edward had left, I headed back to my apartment. He said I could stay, but I just didn't feel right. Honestly, I was terrified for Ness. Even though I hadn't known her for long, I really liked her. She was smart, funny, and of course, loved my books. Whenever I visited her, I always left happy — even in the last few weeks when she wasn't doing well.

I just . . . hadn't thought of her dying. Not really, at least.

I imagined a life for her outside of the walls of the hospital. I imagined her finally being able to live her own story — a better one than I or anyone else could ever write. I imagined her having a bright future, living the dreams she talked to me about.

Going to college.

Falling in love.

Having a beautiful life.

But now, I realized how unlikely that was. I realized her story could very possibly end here. Tonight. It broke my heart and made me wish the fairytales that she loved were true. Because if they were, she'd have everything she deserved.

I stayed by my phone through the evening, waiting for Edward to call or text. Hours passed and I heard nothing. I didn't find solace in writing, like I usually did. I had a dreaded feeling, and nothing would make that go away until Edward called. Or, he'd call and that dreaded feeling would be real.

It wasn't until almost midnight that my phone _finally_ rang. I quickly grabbed it from beside me — where I'd finally placed it after pacing the floors of my apartment over and over. I answered fearfully, knowing what he'd probably say.

"Edward, what's going on?" I asked. "Is she okay?"

"No," he said softly. "I took her into surgery. I knew it wouldn't work. I knew it, but . . . her parents wanted to try it. It was the only option."

The realization hit me right away, shattering my heart as tears filled my eyes. "She's gone."

"Yeah." His voice broke, and I could tell he was barely keeping it together. "I have paperwork, but I've got to get out of here. I need to see you."

"Come over," I cried. "I'm here. Come over."

And he did. Within twenty minutes, he was at my door. The look on his face . . . so broken, so devastated. There were no words I could say to make that heart-wrenching look go away, so once he stepped in and I closed the door, I just wrapped my arms around him, holding him tightly.

"She died," he whispered, his voice cracking. "I couldn't . . . there was nothing . . . I _tried_ everything. God, I tried."

"I know you did."

I tried to hold back the sobs that begged to be released. Ness, the young girl I'd grown so fond of, was gone. I had no right to be this devastated, but I was. She was so young. She was supposed to have her whole life ahead of her, but now that would never happen.

I gasped, choking back my tears as his arms held me just as tight as mine held him. "I'm so sorry, Edward."

We eventually managed to get into my bedroom. Few words were said as I laid on my back with his head on my chest, running my hand through his hair. The only constant sound was of our breathing and the traffic outside of my window. What could I say to comfort him?

 _You did all you could._

No, because how was that any kind of comfort? It was almost as if saying that he wasn't good enough.

 _She's in a better place._

I wanted to scoff at that. Each time someone had said that about my dad, I had a strong urge to punch them.

There just weren't any words. I knew words. I could fit the most perfect word into a scene, making it beautiful and heartfelt, but not now. Not here in real life. The only word adequate to describe this was _sucks_.

It sucked. It wasn't fair or right. It wasn't her time. If she could have just gotten a transplant, maybe she'd have gotten the chance to live the life she deserved. But she didn't. Because sometimes, the world sucked. It was a cold and hard place.

"I let her die," he said despondently.

" _No_."

He looked up at me with tears in his handsome green eyes. "I did. I let her go. She trusted me to save her, and I didn't."

"She was sick, Edward. There was nothing you or anyone else could do. You said before that operating on her could . . ." I didn't want to say the word.

"It killed her, like I said it would," he said harshly — so full of undeserved hate for himself.

"But that's not your fault."

His head laid back down on my chest as he sighed. "I know. Logically, I know it's not my fault. I've run through every single thing I did tonight — that I've done for her, period. There was _nothing_ else. I just . . . I'm trying to figure out if maybe . . . Fuck, I don't know. She was important to me. I grew too close."

I had a strong feeling she wasn't the only patient he'd grown close to. It was the kind of person he was. Caring, compassionate, and loving. He opened his heart as if there was nothing to it. Some would probably say that was a flaw, but that was one of the things I liked so much about him.

He was a good, kindhearted man.

"She loved you," I said. "You weren't just another doctor to her. You were her friend."

His eyes met mine as he nodded. "And she was mine. I'm sorry, Bella. Every single time I've lost a patient it's affected me, but never this much. She was one of the first patients I got to assist on in the OR. Over the years, anytime she came in to the ER, I was paged. Even when I wasn't working peds. She was just . . . a constant, and now I can't believe that she's gone. I operated on her and called her time of death, but I still can't comprehend that I'll never talk to her again."

He cried after that and I let myself do just the same. The handsome man was crying, and that tore me to shreds. I wished there were something, _anything_ I could do for him, but there wasn't.

So, I just let him cry.

. . . . .

"It's not at all my job to place IVs, but she always asked me to do hers," Edward said, laying on his side as I did the same, facing him. "She said I had the magical touch."

We'd been lying like this since he'd stopped crying about an hour ago. He was telling me stories about her — her quirks, their inside jokes, just anything he could think of. It seemed to be helping him. He'd even cracked his handsome smile once or twice.

"Because I'm sure you do," I said.

He shrugged. "Nurses are much better than I am, but I indulged her. I couldn't say no to her, you know? I mean, I _did_ , but it made me feel like shit."

"What else?" I wanted him to continue because I was sure he'd fall apart again if he didn't.

"I snuck her potato chips sometimes. She really shouldn't have had any salt like that, but she _loved_ cheddar and sour cream. She'd only eat a couple, knowing I didn't like her having any at all. And once she'd had those few, we'd do the secret handshake she'd come up with."

He laughed for a moment, shaking his head.

"Show it to me."

"Okay, make a fist."

I did as he asked, and he took my hand, guiding me through the handshake. It was . . . utterly ridiculous, but at the same time fun. I could just picture him and Ness doing this.

After we both finished laughing, the reality hit us again and he sighed. He kept my hand in his as our eyes met. "I'm going to miss her."

I nodded. "Me too. I know I've only known her for a short time, but she was . . ."

"Incredibly special?"

"Exactly."

"Yeah, she was. Bella, I'm sorry for being like this."

My brow creased as I shook my head. "No, don't be."

"It's a lot to lay on you, but there was no one else I wanted to be near. You've become my best friend, you know? I feel like . . . like what we have is more than I ever thought it'd be. I honestly went on that date with no expectations of something like this coming out of it, but I'm so happy it has. I'm so glad to have found you."

"Me too, Edward." I smiled lightly, squeezing his hand. "I'm glad you wanted to be near me tonight. I'm glad that even though there's no possible way I can give you any comfort, you wanted to be with me."

It meant more to me than I could explain, actually. He lost someone who was so much more than just a patient to him, and he came _here_.

"I love you."

My breath caught in my throat as his words hit me. He . . . he loved me?

"I understand if it's too soon for you to know or if you can't say it yet, but I love you. I think I've loved you since we first met, and the time we've spent together has just made that love grow stronger. It's wasn't my intention to tell you that, but it's the truth. Those are my feelings. Tonight, I needed to be with the woman I loved. You gave me comfort by just being here — by letting me breakdown and tell you stories. I didn't want another day to go by and not tell you that."

He just looked at me, expecting me to say something — to say _anything_ at all. But I couldn't. I was literally speechless. Love was . . . it wasn't something I was looking for. Love was dangerous. I seemed to lose everyone I loved, and I didn't want to lose him.

"You've got to say something, Bella."

"I'm scared."

Fuck that, I was petrified.

He nodded. "It's okay. I didn't expect you to say it back yet."

But from the sorrowful look on his face, I knew he _wanted_ it. And to be completely honest with myself, I wanted to say it back. I wanted to scream it. Because I _was_ in love with him. I was crazily, stupidly, hopelessly, head over heels in love with the handsome man.

I couldn't tell you when it happened because there was no, "one moment." It was every moment. From the first time I saw him until this very moment, I was in love. And here I was, looking into the brokenhearted eyes of the man that I loved and I was too terrified to admit it.

"I'm scared," I repeated.

My hand shook as he held it. I wanted more words to come out, but they were stuck. I felt like I was suffocating, though I was taking air into my lungs as I always had.

"Why are you scared? Bella, please, tell me."

"I . . . I . . ."

 _Say something, damn it_ , my mind screamed.

"I lose people. I'm scared that I'll lose you, too."

He shook his head, caressing my cheek. "You won't."

"I-I need to think."

God damn it, that wasn't what I wanted to say. Why the hell couldn't I just say it? Why couldn't I tell him how _much_ I loved him? Why was I letting my fear keep me from expressing my feelings?

"I'll go," he said, sitting up.

I gripped his hand tightly, refusing to let go. This was it. This was my last chance before I screwed everything up and lost it all. If I didn't say it now, he'd leave and there was a very good chance I'd never see him again.

I'd lose the handsome man that I loved. And fear be damned, I _wasn't_ going to lose another thing.

"I'm scared to love you," I said, shaking my head. "I tried not to think about it because if I admitted it to myself, it was another thing that the world could take from me. I can't let _this . . ._ this incredible thing I have with you go. I can't lose it. I love you, Edward."

The look of relief on his face _almost_ made me want to laugh. "You do?"

I nodded. "I love you more than I ever thought possible because I _don't_ get this happiness. And that's my own problem that I need to deal with, but I'm not letting it get in the way of this. _I love you_. And as I admit this, it's just growing stronger. I fell in love with you. When? I have no clue. But I fell in love with you and I keep falling in love with you every moment we're together."

His hands cupped my cheeks as his handsome lips curled into a smile. He wiped the stray tears that had fallen away as he dipped his head, pressing his lips to mine. I could have gone on. I could have rambled for hours about how and why I loved him. But with his kiss, I felt like he knew.

As he pulled away, he looked into my eyes. "Tonight was a bad night for me. For both of us, really. I didn't plan to tell you tonight, but I had to. I had to let you know that I loved you and know for myself if you felt the same. I know you're scared and I understand it, but you don't need to be. Love isn't something to fear."

I nodded. "I know. I've just . . ."

"You don't have to say it. You've had a bad year, and I know this wasn't in your plans. I know that you keep your heart guarded because of what you've lost, but you've opened it up for me. Bella, I promise I won't leave you. I promise I'll make you happy, just as I've done these past few months. If you give me this chance, you won't regret it."

There was no possible way that I could regret loving Edward Cullen. I knew his promises were true and he'd keep them as long as he was able — hopefully forever. He'd make me happy. Hell, he'd already made me ecstatic.

Falling in love had never been in my plans, but I was beginning to realize that there was no such thing. Plans were just a hilarious thing we came up with to try and control life. Life wasn't meant to be controlled, though.

It was meant to be lived.

"I can't wait to see how you could possibly make me happier," I said, smiling.

"I accept that challenge, beautiful girl," he chuckled, kissing me once more.


	7. Chapter 7

**Epilogue Chapter 7**

 **Edward**

Within a moment, everything can change. Your eyes can meet someone else's, and then the course of your life could be forever altered. The day that my eyes met Bella's, I fell in love. Looking back, I realize that was not the exact moment, but it was the moment that started it all.

I fell in love with her in every moment.

I admitted my love for her on one of the worst nights of my life. Though the happiness I felt by admitting it didn't change the horrible night, it gave me something better to remember.

I remember _many_ different things about Vanessa Masen. I remember her fighting spirit, her playfulness in the face of terrifying circumstances, her love of books, her fear of death, and her dreams she never got to fulfill.

I remember the day she told me that I loved Bella as I was starting to realize it for myself. She told me these three days before she passed away. I was exhausted from working too much and I missed Bella more than words could express, and she knew it.

She looked at me point blank and said, "You love her, don't you?"

Ness was much too smart for her own good sometimes. She knew more about her disease than she should have needed to — even teaching her own parents things from time to time. She easily recognized my love for Bella the first time the two of them meet, according to her.

Once she'd told me that I loved Bella, she had said something that I thought back to often.

"You're going to marry her one day. I have a lot of dreams, but one of them is that the two of you will be happy and together. That you'll give her the kind of thing she writes about. Because she deserves it."

Bella deserved more than that. And so after a year and a half of dating, I knew it was time to ask her to marry me. I was fulfilling Ness's dream, and along with hers, I was fulfilling my own. Today I was asking the love of my life to marry me.

I was nervous, but my excitement eclipsed that. Honestly, I'd wanted to do this that very night I'd admitted my feelings, but I knew to take my time with Bella. I knew her fears. Over the past year and a half, she finally faced them, accepting help so that she could move on and be happy.

Be happy with me.

I supported her as she attended therapy and learned to accept loss without forgetting the people she loved. The death of her father had taken a toll on her, which I'd known since soon after we first met. She'd lost a part of herself. She was strong, though, and learned to live with what life had given her. It wasn't fair, but it was reality.

We were happy now — blissfully happy. Our relationship wasn't a fairytale, though — as much as it seemed like it sometimes. We fought, we made up, and then we fought again, as we always would. As all couples would. But never once was there the thought that we couldn't move on from it. She'd fall back into my arms and our lives would go on.

As much as I supported Bella, she did the same for me. She was always there, ready and willing to listen to whatever I said. She was there to comfort me when the terrible part of my job became reality. She was always there for me, in whatever capacity I needed.

She was my other half.

My soul mate.

. . . . .

I checked my watch, pacing the living room of the apartment. I had the evening planned out meticulously with Alice's help. She had made sure all the finer details were taken care of — things I hadn't even thought about. Bella's favorite flowers were around the apartment, a few candles were lit — to create the ambiance, whatever that meant — and Bella's favorite playlist was turned on.

I'd considered doing this at a million different places, but I knew my beautiful girl. No matter how much attention she received from her books, she still hated crowds. So, I figured she wouldn't enjoy people she didn't know clapping and congratulating her if I did this in public.

Our apartment was just right.

It was our home. We'd found it together six months ago and the space was _ours_. Together, mixed perfectly, were her things and mine. This was her favorite place in the world, filled with the books she loved to bury herself in and the items she sought comfort in.

Another ten minutes passed, and I straightened my tie once more, praying it still looked good. My phone finally buzzed with the text I'd been waiting for from Alice — who'd taken Bella out so that I could set everything up.

 **We're coming up.**

A grin was plastered on my face as I realized my dreams would become a reality. I didn't doubt she'd say yes. I was nervous, of course, but deep down, I knew what her answer would be.

"What the?"

I chuckled as the door opened and Bella looked around. Her mouth opened, but no more words escaped. The moment her eyes met mine, her beautiful lips curled into a knowing smile. She looked gorgeous — as she did every single day.

"Hello, beautiful girl," I said, taking a few steps to meet her as she walked into the living room, looking around.

"Why is our apartment covered in tulips?" she teased, clearly knowing exactly what I was doing.

"I like tulips," I chuckled. "But I love you."

With her hand in mine, I dropped down on one knee, pulling the ring box from my pocket with my free hand. I heard the snap of the camera Alice was taking pictures with, but my eyes never left Bella's. Nothing else existed to me in that moment.

"Isabella Swan, I love you more than I thought it was possible to love another human being," I started, opening the box to show her the ring I'd picked out. It wasn't extravagant, but I'd made sure it would complement her stunning beauty — inside and out. "It wasn't until I found you that I realized the strength of love. How it pulls you to someone, how it eases your pain, and how it makes you look at the world in a different light. I promise to love you, to make you smile, laugh, and enjoy every day we spend together. Will you do me the extraordinary honor of becoming my wife?"

She grinned, nodding as tears filled her eyes. "Of course. God, of course I'll marry you. Yes. Oh, yes."

I slid the ring onto her slender finger and stood as she threw her arms around my neck, weaving her fingers through my hair and pulling my lips to hers. For those few moments as we kissed, everything in the world was right. Nothing was on my mind except the love of my life, who had just agreed to marry me.

. . . . .

"I'm never taking it off," Bella said, laying her head against my chest.

Hours had passed since she agreed to marry me, and now we were alone and in bed together, celebrating on our own.

I much preferred this way of celebrating.

"I have to keep making sure it's still there," she giggled

I tilted her chin up, kissing her softly "It's not going anywhere any time soon."

"You know, I _thought_ maybe you'd do it soon, but I had no idea it'd be tonight."

I smirked. "You thought I was going to ask you soon?"

She shrugged. "I had a feeling. It just felt . . . right."

The feeling was entirely mutual. It was as if Bella and I could read each other . . . Another thing that made me sure our love was meant to be.

"Thank you for the love you've given me," I said, caressing her bare back. "Thank you for overcoming the fears you had and letting yourself fall in love with me. For giving me more than I ever thought possible."

She propped herself up on my chest, smiling. "You brought me back to life. No words will ever express how much you mean to me — what all you've given me. I wasn't about to let this go. Fear wasn't taking you from me. I love you, Edward, and I can't wait to spend the rest of our lives together, falling deeper and deeper in love with you."

. . . . .

We married nine months later during a small ceremony in front of our friends and my family — her family, too. My parents had all but adopted Bella, claiming her as one of their own. She adored my mom and dad, just as they did her. I knew full well that it wasn't the same as having her own parents, but Bella said it was more than she ever thought she'd have.

The ceremony was beautiful and just as Bella wanted it to be, though she really didn't have too many demands. It was the perfect day. Our honeymoon was even better, if you asked me. And about five weeks after we returned home, we learned that our lives were about to change again.

For the much, much better.

"She's going to kick me," Bella said, looking over her large, rounded belly at me as I talked to our daughter. "She's finally settled down, and now your voice will get her all worked up again. I'm trying to eat ice cream, you know."

I laughed, kissing her stomach. "I think Mommy is about to sign your eviction notice, sweet girl."

"Or I'll keep her in here and just kick _you_ out."

"Grumpy." I smirked, sitting back up and leaning against the couch. I leaned in to kiss her, and she turned her cheek at me. " _Oh_ , very grumpy. I do apologize, beautiful girl."

If there was one thing I'd learned through Bella's pregnancy, it was that apologizes went a hell of a long way. No matter what I did — even if I didn't do _anything_ — I would apologize. Usually she'd forgive me, but sometimes it took a little more.

I did just call her grumpy, so I was already assuming I'd have to do more . . . Until the tears came.

"I'm not grumpy," she cried, putting the small tub of ice cream on her bump. "I'm not. I'm just . . . She's due in two days! Why hasn't she come yet? I can barely walk. Hell, I can't even wear closed shoes! Nothing fits because I'm gigantic and my boobs hurt _constantly._ "

Holy mood swing.

I put my arm around her, pulling her close to me as I kissed her temple. She didn't _want_ me to tell her that she wasn't gigantic or her feet her fine or that I found her waddle to be kind of adorable. So, I didn't. I just held her as she cried.

"She'll come soon, Bella," I said. "I promise she will. You're so close."

"Am I bad for just wanting her out?" she asked, looking up at me with a pout. "I just want her. I love having her inside of me and feeling her growing, but damn, I want our baby already. She's so fucking stubborn. I blame you."

I cocked my brow, smirking. If our daughter was stubborn, it was most certainly _not_ because of me. My wife was extraordinarily stubborn. "Me, huh?"

She rolled her eyes, sighing. "Fine. That's not on you, but you did knock me up, so I get to blame everything on you."

"I'll give you that," I chuckled. "And you're not bad for wanting her to come. Not at all. I'm excited for her, too."

"You're a good man, Edward Cullen." She wiped her tears and smiled, placing my hand back on her stomach. "She's moving around again, so you can talk to her."

I laughed and kissed her before leaning back down and talking to our daughter once more. I made sure to throw in a, "please hurry and come," to make Bella happy. But really, I couldn't wait either.

I was going to be a father. A terrifying thought at first because of my job, but also an immensely joyful one. Our little girl was perfectly healthy, which was the most important thing in the world to me. After all the kids with heart conditions and birth defects I'd seen on a daily basis, that was my biggest fear. It was the only concern that crossed my mind when Bella and I saw the positive pregnancy test.

Thankfully, the ultrasounds had eased my fears. Our little girl was perfect — I'd studied the images of her heart meticulously. I counted being friends with her obstetrician as a great perk because I'd gotten away with requesting to see our child more times than any other expecting parents normally would. I'd even brought home a portal ultrasound at one point, thanks to him.

Bella didn't let me keep it long, though. I annoyed her, apparently.

"I love you, sweet girl," I said, kissing her stomach once more. "And I love you too, Bella. Do you want anything else?"

She shook her head, handing me the empty tub. "No, the cookie dough ice cream hit the spot. But I mean, I wouldn't _mind_ a foot massage. Not in the least, actually."

"Let's go get in bed, then." I stood up, holding my hand out to help her off of the couch.

I was quite proud of myself for not laughing at her grunt. The one time I had, she didn't speak to me for almost an entire day. I would never make that mistake again.

. . . . .

"Still nothing, huh?" Maggie, one of my nurses asked from across the operating table. "Not even a maybe?"

I shook my head, holding my hand out for a clamp. I didn't even have to say what I wanted because she knew. Maggie was an experienced, talented nurse who knew what I wanted even before I did sometimes.

"Nope, not even a little," I said. "Bella's due date was yesterday, so she's decided our daughter doesn't want to come out. She's cozy."

She laughed softly. "Of course she is, but she'll come soon. I bet you're excited, aren't you? Any names yet?"

"We've decided, but we're not telling anyone until she's here and we know the name fits."

The name was actually my idea, and I loved it. Bella cried when I told her it and agreed immediately. She picked our daughter's middle name, giving me the same feeling I'd given her. Now, I was left praying it fit our little girl.

"I'm so happy for you, Dr. Cullen. For your wife's sanity as well as your own, I hope she'll come very soon."

"God, I hope so," I laughed.

Once I'd finished my surgery, I told the teenage boy's parents that he'd come through with flying colors and headed to my office to work on charts before going home. I found Bella in the nursery, folding another load of laundry that she'd washed.

"What are those, the six to nine month clothes?" I asked, leaning against the doorframe.

"I pulled them out of the totes and decided to go ahead and wash some of them," she sighed. "I keep messing with things. The whole nesting thing has only gotten stronger as the days pass."

"Let me help." I smiled, walking into the room and sitting down on the floor beside her. How the hell she got down here was a mystery to me. "Maybe she'll come on Christmas, you know? I think that'd be nice."

She narrowed her eyes at me as I chuckled. "If she waits another week, it'll be all your fault. How dare you jinx me, Edward Cullen? A week overdue is not okay. Not even a little."

"I'm sorry. Your water will break in minutes . . . Better?"

"Much, actually. So, how was your day?"

As we folded the clothes and put them back into the totes, I told her that my surgeries went well and all of my patients were recovering nicely. Never in the time we'd been together had she asked me to stop talking about my work. I didn't understand how it didn't bore her, but it didn't. She always said she loved how passionately I talked about my patients — that it made her happy to hear.

In return, I could easily let her talk to hours about a character she was writing that was driving her insane. It was a privilege to get to read her stories as she wrote them — one I didn't take lightly. She'd written three more young adult books and a romance novel since we'd been together. The romance novel was one she'd started when we first began dating — the one she let Ness read before she passed away.

It did _incredible_ and shot up the best sellers lists almost overnight. I'd had the honor of attending many of her signings with her — which were much more crowded than the ones she'd done before — and she said she'd never felt more relaxed than when I was with her. I'd fallen in love with an extraordinary and brilliant woman. The things she could create and turn into a novel astounded me.

"Ugh, I'm having more stupid Braxton Hicks contractions," Bella said as I helped her up off of the floor. She groaned, stretching her back as my brow rose.

"Are you sure?"

"I . . . I don't know? Hold on."

She blew out a long breath as the pain passed. She'd had false labor pains more times than I could count, so the chances were good that was what it was once more, but . . . there was always a chance. We'd learned a few weeks ago to stop jumping the gun because she wound up so disappointed. She was thirty-seven weeks when she was _sure_ it was time. We'd even gone to the hospital, only to be told to go back home.

"I'm going to set my stopwatch, just in case," I said as she walked in front of me and out to the living room. She eased herself down on the couch as I pressed the button on my phone to start the stopwatch.

"It kind of felt different," she said. "I mean, I'm probably reading too much into it, but . . . maybe?"

I nodded, smiling as I pressed my hand to her stomach. "Maybe."

. . . . .

Hours passed and the contractions had become more and more regular. At first she'd have two or three and hour, but then they started coming quicker and quicker with more strength. Once they were at five minutes apart, I called Garrett, her obstetrician, and he told us to go ahead and come in. Bella was astoundingly patient — more so than I was, even — and went about making sure everything was ready before we left for the hospital around ten at night.

Getting checked in and everything sorted out was a bit of a haze. While Bella settled in, I called my parents and Alice, as promised. My parents would be flying out tomorrow morning and Alice would come once the baby was born. She and Jasper had gotten married a month before we got engaged, and then welcomed a son six months ago. They'd moved out of the city to Stamford, Connecticut where Jasper had taken another social worker job at a hospital there.

They loved being out of the city and tried to convince us to do the same, but this was our home. Bella decided that someday she'd want to move, but not anytime soon because I wanted to stay close to the hospital. I knew she didn't love it here, so I didn't take her sacrifice lightly. I promised we'd move in a few years, if she still wanted to.

"Oh God, I'm regretting my decision," Bella said, squeezing the life out of my hand as another contraction ended. "I kind of want drugs. All the drugs."

I kissed her temple, wiping the strands of hair that had fallen out of her face. "You can have the drugs, beautiful girl."

She sighed, rubbing her stomach. "No . . . I stupidly wanted to do this naturally, so I'll stupidly do it naturally."

"Well, you're at six centimeters, so there's a chance it won't be _too_ much longer."

"If she keeps taking her sweet ass time, she's grounded," she laughed softly. "Can I walk around, please? I need to move."

I nodded, helping her up off of the bed. We walked up and down the halls of the floor, stopping every so often as a contraction came. She was incredible and strong, handling the horrendous pain better than I ever thought possible.

"I love you, Bella," I said, rubbing her back as she groaned in pain, kneeling on the floor against the bed.

Her hand came around her back, gripping mine tightly and I knew she was saying the same. The words never needed to be spoken, it seemed. I loved her, and she loved me more than anything in the world. We found each other when neither of us were looking for much of anything, and we'd completed each other's lives.

A few more hours passed and Bella was ready to push. The room was soon crowded with nurses setting up, and the bed was broken down.

Garrett Foster came back in, smiling as Bella glared at him. "If I ever say I don't want drugs, I'm lying," she said.

He laughed, settling down on the stool in front of her as her hand gripped mine. "You've done amazing, though. Now, let's get this show on the road. She'll be here soon."

"Ready?" I asked, trying to contain my grin.

She nodded, giving me a small smile. "You can smile your handsome smile. I won't hit you."

And so I did just that, letting my excitement show as I coached her to push. Garrett stayed silent, knowing that Bella wanted this to be between the two of us. I wiped the sweat from her brow, telling her how amazing she was through each push. She was beyond exhausted, but she did it, and quicker than I thought she would.

It took five pushes, in fact.

Five extremely painful pushes until the most beautiful cry filled the room, and Bella fell back against the bed, crying at the sound. Our daughter was laid on Bella's chest and everything except for the beautiful cry was silent.

"Oh my _god_ ," Bella whispered as we stared at the gorgeous child we'd created. She squirmed in my wife's arms, completely pissed off as the nurse cleaned her off, rubbing her with the blanket.

"She's . . . she's incredible," I said in awe. How could I describe the most perfect being in the entire world?

Bella lifted her head, tearing her eyes away from our child as our lips met. The kiss was quick, but filled with the love that swelled our hearts. "I love you, Edward."

"I love you, too."

No matter what beautiful stories she could ever write, not a one would compare to ours in my eyes. Ours was real, beautiful, confusing at times, it overcame fear, it brought a beautiful little girl into the world, and it completed us.

"Hello, Charlotte Esme Cullen," Bella said as tears streamed down her cheeks.

"Charlie." I smiled, caressing our daughter's tiny cheek.

I fell in love.

I fell in love with Isabella Swan.

I fell in love with her in every moment we spent together.

And then I fell in love again the moment I saw what our love had created.


	8. Chapter 8

I Fell in Love Outtake **by** Anhanninen **  
Rated:** NC17 **  
Warnings:** None **  
Beta:** Bookwormbaby2580 and MelissaMargaret **  
Summary:** It's Bella's birthday, and Edward decides to help her cross something off of her bucket list.

"I think you've mistaken me for someone who _likes_ putting on pants," I laughed into the phone, shaking my head. "There's no way in hell I'm coming down to the hospital at eleven o'clock at night."

"But it's slow and I'm bored," Edward said, and I could just imagine his pout. "Plus, I'm _really_ hungry. Bring those cookies you made and come have a midnight snack with me, beautiful girl."

I sighed, knowing I was going to give and do this. I mean, pants sucked, but having cookies with the handsome man I was in love with as the clock struck midnight and made it officially my twenty-ninth birthday sounded pretty good.

"All right, I'll come."

" _Yes_ ," he hissed. "I'm doing that fist pump thing, in case you were wondering."

I laughed. "Of course you are. Now, excuse me while I put pants on for you."

"I love you."

"Yeah, I love you, too. I mean, _pants_ , Edward. You should feel honored."

"I feel very honored, actually. Get your ass down here with cookies."

I slid out of bed, rolling my eyes. "I _am_ , so I'll see you soon. Bye."

"Goodbye, beautiful."

Once I exchanged the lovely sweatpants with actual jeans, I grabbed the cookies from the kitchen and went downstairs to hail a cab . . . in the rain. Edward owed me _so_ many orgasms for this shit. Luckily for me, though, he had the glorious cock and lovely fingers to make good on that.

We'd been together now for almost a year. Well, if you counted from the first date, which I did. I may have been a moron and not realized that I loved him then, but I now knew that I did. A year of being in love . . .

It'd been a pretty damn good year, let's just say. I'd decided to stop living in the past and figure out how to _actually_ live by getting help. You know, professional help. WedMD was, in fact, accurate with the social anxiety thing, too. I was also possibly, maybe, kind of depressed, but I was moving on. And besides the therapist, Edward was the biggest part of that.

I wasn't going to let my fear ruin what we had together, and he supported me in my decision to seek help. He came with me to sessions, held me after a rough day, and was just _there_ in a way that I hadn't realized I needed. I let down my walls for him, and it was the best thing I'd ever done.

So, I guess he kind of deserved me putting on actual pants and braving the rain for him. He actually deserved _so_ much more.

. . . . .

"You're wearing the lab coat just for me, aren't you?" I smirked, tugging on the lapels for him to lean down and kiss me.

Which he did — spectacularly. His tongue moved with mine as his thumb caressed the spot he knew I enjoyed right behind my ear. He pulled away, leaving me panting as he smiled that handsome smile.

"It's only for you," he said. "I'm not, like, required to wear it or anything."

"Pssshhh, of course not. People would confuse you for some kind of doctor."

"Which would be terrible," he chuckled. "Now, cookies?"

I pulled the container from my purse, waving it under his nose. "I do not disappoint."

"You most certainly do not."

He took my hand, leading me down the hallway from the elevator to his office. Edward was an attending now, which meant he had a much bigger, much nicer office than he'd had before. It was still in the children's part of the hospital, but up another level.

He had one hell of a view, so when I walked inside I headed straight for the window, looking out over the city as I always did. I may not have _loved_ New York, but it was beautiful at night.

"You're really not going to notice, are you?"

I looked back at Edward who had his hands out in display of his desk. "Oh my god!" I laughed, realizing there wasn't a single chart on it. "But your system!"

"I know! Let's hope no one is hurt because I can't find a chart now."

"I still refuse to believe you easily found a damn thing in that mess."

He smirked, shrugging. "Oh, I did. Now, aren't you proud of me?"

I walked over, laying my hand down on the solid oak top and trailing my fingers on it. "I'm just shocked, is all."

"I did it for you."

My mouth fell open as he looked at me, moving his eyes up my body slowly. The realization was quick, and I honestly couldn't quite believe it. I _may_ have mentioned once or twice that my bucket list consisted of one thing — being fucked on the solid oak. I didn't think it actually happen, though.

I mean, I was pretty sure that was something they fired people over.

"What did you do for me?" I asked, trying to hide my smile.

His hand lifted to caress my cheek as his lips curled up. "Your birthday is a day that should be enjoyed, so I figured we should start it right."

"How many rules does it break?"

"So many," he laughed. "But, it's the middle of the night, no one is in the office, and I think if you're quiet enough, we'll be able to get away with it."

"I'm not very quiet."

His lips captured mine, his teeth tugging at my bottom lip as he pulled away. "I can keep you quiet."

I wasn't the kinkiest girl in the world, but . . . being fucked in his office? I was down for that. The hint of danger turned me on, and I licked my lip as I nodded. "If you get fired, I'm _really_ sorry."

He leaned down, wrapping his arms around me to lift me onto the desk. "I won't be fired."

His lips trailed along my jaw, leaving my skin tingling in their path. "But if you do, I promise to try and grovel for you."

"Well, then I think it'll be fine. You're very persuasive."

I nodded as his fingers clasped the hem of my sweatshirt, slowly lifting it up. "I got you to fuck me in your office, didn't I?"

He chuckled. "Beautiful girl, you just had to say it once before I started figuring out how to make it work."

My top was soon gone, and his lips were back against my skin as my hands tangled in his messy hair. I couldn't get enough of him — I _never_ could. He touched me in a way that was so simple, but so damn powerful. His hands were on my hips, pulling me closer to him, letting me feel that I did the same things to him — that he couldn't get enough of me.

"God, I love you," he whispered as I lay back against the desk.

The cold, hard wood against my back felt incredible as he pulled my jeans from my body. This was happening. He was making my fantasy come true. Fuck yes, I had the greatest boyfriend in the world.

"I'm going to take you hard and fast," he said with a devilish smirk on his handsome lips as I looked up at him. "You're going to enjoy this."

Oh, yes. Yes, I would.

"Thank you. I love you."

He dropped his scrub pants, pulling his cock free and stroking it as I eyed him closely in anticipation. The air in the room felt electric. I felt like I was on a high that I'd never come down from. He grabbed me by my thighs, yanking me to the very end of the desk. He licked his fingertips before rubbing them over my clit.

And then, he thrust into me, taking me off guard and making me cry out. He did just as he said and fucked me hard — the friction of the desk causing the slightest bit of pain to make it even more pleasurable.

"I fucking love when your tits bounce like this," he whispered harshly, moving his hands to my chest.

I moaned as my head fell to the side, closing my eyes and just _feeling_ him. It was so much better than I ever imagined. My legs were wrapped tightly around his waist as he pounded into me with the glorious cock. It felt spectacular. Unbelievable.

His lips moved back to my neck, kissing me softly — the complete opposite of how he was fucking me. How this man could make something so hot and dangerous so loving astounded me, but that was him. That was the handsome Edward Cullen.

I gripped the lapels of his lab coat tightly, holding him down on top of me as he continued his movements. I needed him close. I needed him against me — his lips against mine. I wanted to scream out how fucking incredible this way and I almost did, but his kiss silenced every moan that came out.

Smart man.

"I love you, beautiful girl," he groaned, lifting me up with him.

A few more thrusts, and I was done — lost to everything around me except for the feeling. He rocked his hips into mine, holding me tightly as he came soon after. We clung to each other, panting as we came down from the incredible high.

"I love you, too," I whispered against his neck. "I love you so much."

He pulled back, cupping my cheeks as he grinned. "Happy birthday."

I giggled. "And what a great way to start it."

. . . . .

I left the hospital with my hair a mess and my hoodie inside out. I'd never felt more beautiful, though. That was what Edward did to me, and it wasn't always because of the spectacular sex. He brought me back to life, making me happier than ever before.

His gift wasn't a material item or something I could tell others about, but it was more thoughtful than a gorgeous piece of jewelry or flowers ever could be, and I loved it. He broke more rules than I wanted to think about to fulfill something I wanted. I mean, his ass would be _so_ fired if we'd have been caught. He risked that for me, just to make me happy.

Pretty sure that was love.

I headed to bed soon after getting home, but awakened just before nine when Edward crawled into bed next to me, wishing me a happy birthday. There wasn't much of a plan to celebrate, besides a dinner with Alice and Jasper tonight. I liked it that way, though. It was kind of hard to know this had been the day my dad celebrated above all else. Without him, it didn't feel the same.

I was okay, though . . . as okay as I could be, I guess.

"Just give me five hours, okay?" Edward asked, wrapping his arm around me tightly from behind. "How about a movie before dinner?"

I smiled to myself, nodding. "I'd like that. Love you."

"I love you too, birthday girl." He kissed my temple before sighing softly and getting comfortable.

I lay there for a good hour, thinking about everything and nothing as he slept. Once I was sure he was out cold, I moved his arm from my waist and crawled out of bed to go into the kitchen. I wasn't the least bit surprised to find a beautiful bouquet of roses on the counter already in a vase for me.

Just because I wasn't surprised, though, didn't mean I wasn't impressed. He'd outdone himself with the flowers. They were gorgeous and fresh and so obviously crafted just for me — with a few different, fun and cute bookmarks tucked into it.

The man knew me.

He had also taken a photo of my dad and me from the bookshelf and had placed it next to the flowers with a note. It was a nice touch, but bittersweet. The note reminded me that though Dad wasn't physically here, he loved me and that Edward was _sure_ he was with me in spirit.

I let a few tears slip onto my cheeks, unashamed by the emotion for once. It'd been a while since I'd let myself cry over missing my dad and, in a way, it was somewhat cathartic.

"I miss you, Daddy," I said softly, closing the note and looking at the picture. "He's pretty good, huh? Probably better than I deserve, but he's made me whole again in some weird, maybe crazy I-don't-know way. He's brought me back to life, which I know would make you happy."

. . . . .

When Edward woke up around two, we headed out to the theater to catch a movie. He let me put the raisinets into the tub of popcorn, which he actually hated, but I loved. So, you know, woo for birthday treats. I even managed to sneak a bite of the two into a handful that I fed him.

The look of betrayal was priceless.

"Popcorn should not be mixed with chocolate," he said, glaring at me. "Especially not chocolate with raisins."

I laughed, smoothing out his frown. "I didn't poison you."

"Might as well have. This is why I have trust issues, you know? Chocolate with raisins hidden inside? It's just unnatural."

"It's delicious," I said, popping another handful in my mouth to prove my point. "Mmm, unnatural."

He chuckled softly, putting his arm around me and pulling me close to him. "Whatever you say, beautiful girl."

He held me close to him as the movie started, and I melted into his side, soaking it up. PDA was kind of awesome, you know. Even more so when he kissed me passionately, causing me to moan and get shushed by some person behind us.

They _really_ didn't appreciate his not-so-quiet talk about what he was going to do to me tonight.

I did, though.

And sex in a public place was added to my bucket list.

. . . . .

Once the movie ended, we took our time getting back to our apartment. Alice and Jasper wouldn't be there until six, so there really wasn't much of a rush.

"So, I need to ask you a hypothetical question," Edward said, holding my hand as we waited for the light to change so we could continue our walk.

I looked up at him, cocking my brow. "Hypothetical, huh?"

He nodded as a smirk played on his handsome lips. "Of course. For example, how insanely angry at me would you be if I said there was a surprise party waiting for you at our apartment?"

"Considering the fact that I have all of one close friend and she's already going to be at the apartment for a _planned_ dinner, I'd be extraordinary angry. I could even go into a rage."

"Would you be less angry if I told you about it first?"

"I will hurt you, Edward Cullen."

He chuckled, titling his head down to kiss my temple. "You couldn't hurt a fly, beautiful girl. I've seen you try, and you miraculously managed to catch it in a cup and take it to the window."

He _wouldn't._

Would he?

Shit, fuck, damn it, he _would_. And by the look on his face and his bullshit hypothetical question, I knew he had. I considered slapping the grin off of his face, but that was kind of assault in the real world.

Damn.

"Who's coming? Edward, I _hate_ people," I whined.

"You don't hate my parents, do you?"

Well . . . that changed things. Kind of. I was still a little pissed, though. "Just them?"

He shook his head. "Emmett and Rosalie too, but they left the twins with her mom."

"I've met them once!" I huffed.

"And they adore you. I just . . . thought you'd like to have family for your birthday. They _are_ your family now, Bella. Please, don't hate me?"

I could never hate the handsome Edward Cullen. I'd miss the conversation and spectacular sex too much. I could make him pay for it, though. I didn't know how yet, but I could and I would.

"I don't hate you," I sighed as his handsome smile returned. "Do I have to act surprised, though? Because I'm a great writer, but a shitty actress."

He laughed, dipping his head to capture my lips. "Nope, I told them I would tell you right before, so that you didn't have a panic attack."

"Good idea because chances are high I would have."

"So, I'm not in trouble?"

"That's to be seen. But, I'm glad your family came. Are they here already?"

He nodded, taking my hand again. "Yeah, they should be done setting up by now. I love you."

"I love you too, even though you're a dirty, rotten schemer."

. . . . .

The moment Edward opened the apartment door and I walked through, his mom rushed to me, wrapping me up in a tight embrace. I _loved_ Esme, but . . . she really didn't understand my enjoyment of personal space. Like, not even a little.

"Happy birthday, sweetheart," she said, pulling back. "Surprised?"

"I can't believe you all came," I said, smiling. "This is incredible."

"When Edward asked, there was no possible way we could refuse," Carlisle said, stepping forward and giving me a quick hug. "Happy birthday, Bella."

"Thank you so much. Really, I'm so thankful you all came. You _really_ didn't have to come all this way."

"Eh, it's a nice mini vacation, too," Rosalie said. "Edward didn't want you spending the day without your family, so we jumped at the chance. Happy birthday."

"Thanks," I said, giving her a gentle hug.

I didn't know Rosalie and Emmett very well yet, but I did like them both. They'd welcomed me into the family with open arms. Honestly, it was a little disorienting to feel so much love without any effort, but that was the Cullens. They were incredible people — plain and simple.

After the welcoming, we all headed over to our small dining room to start eating. I quickly learned that they'd gotten here just moments after Edward took me to the movies to set up and so that Esme could cook my favorite dinner — chicken parmesan.

It felt so homey and nice to be gathered around a table with people that called me their family — and had traveled so far just to be with me for one night. Edward had gone above and beyond anything I ever dreamed of to celebrate, and I decided that he deserved anything he could ever want tonight.

"I ordered the cake from our favorite bakery," Alice said, grinning as she sat the extravagant, two-tiered cake in front of me. "And yes, there's cookie dough ice cream."

"I knew I loved you for a reason," I laughed, taking her hand as she sat back down beside me. "Were you in on this, too?"

She scoffed. "Of course! Do you really think Edward could arrange all of this? We timed everything _perfectly,_ and that's only something I can do, babe."

"True. So . . . what do I wish for?"

"Anything you want, beautiful girl," Edward said, wrapping his arm around me and kissing my cheek. "I'd love a new flat screen to fall into our laps, though."

"It's _her_ wish," Esme said, her lips curling into a smile as she rolled her eyes.

Alice lit the candles, and I closed my eyes, blowing them out quickly. My wish was pretty simple and all I could ever want. I just wanted to always be a part of this amazing family and for the handsome man to love me for the rest of our lives.

I had a feeling that would easily come true.


End file.
